Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi, one of Israel’s most popular, current Torah teachers, shared a poignant memory. 

She recalls being present at the reading of her Father’s will after his passing. The reading began with the statement that he loved all his children equally. When she heard those words she was so comforted and felt no interest in the dispersal of material things. 

As she says, she felt she had inherited millions, property that no one could fight over. 

This is the time when we want to bequeath love to our children. 

Last night I went to pay a shiva call. The woman who passed away was the mother of a large family of 8 children. It was a blended family. She married a man who was divorced with three young children. When they married, she made a personal commitment to herself to love these children as her own. 

Was she successful?

I will share a few vignettes and you can decide for yourself. 

The youngest child was 2 years old when this woman became her stepmom. Coincidentally, they shared the same name. The husband/father suggested changing the little girl’s name. She was very young and he thought she would quickly forget her original name. 

His new bride wouldn’t hear of it. She said the little girl was having to adjust to so many new realities in her life and instead she would change her own name!

So, at the age of 30, she called herself by her middle name, and continued with that appellation for the rest of her life. 

When her illness had progressed and it was time for hospice care, all the children wanted her in their own home. Ultimately her last days were spent in the home of one of the stepdaughters because the accommodations there were best for her needs. 

At the funeral, her stepson, a man of extreme accomplishment, gifted with the ability to speak publicly with great elegance and regal presence, broke down in sobs as he attempted to eulogize his Mother. I have known him for over 30 years and never saw him express such raw emotion. 

I think we would all agree that this special woman was indeed successful. 

Through the power of her love and devotion, she was able to forge loving bonds of love that tied her family together in closeness and warmth. 

When I was growing up my Mom did not watch much television. The only exceptions that come to mind were when man landed on the moon and Lady Diana got married. 

Nowadays she does watch a bit, mostly British programs. 

When I last visited we watched Downton Abbey together. 

There is a scene where a housemaid who worked for the upper class family for two years comes back after a long absence. In the interim she has had the opportunity to better herself and now comes as the patron of an organization which helps young women who wish to have a chance for education. 

The family doesn’t recognize their former maid until the butler (it’s always the butler) reveals her secret. When they become aware she had worked for them for two years, the family was somewhat mortified. 

They were embarrassed that she had been in their service but they never really looked at her. 

She was invisible. 

When we go to the theater, we see the cast and recognize their contributions, but do we ever take a moment to realize that without the people behind the scenes, the show would not go on. 

Sometimes it’s the people we do not see, or pay attention to, who make all the difference. 

We need to see those who may appear to be invisible. 

This week’s Torah portion is called VaYetzei, which means he went out. 

It is the continuation of the story of our Patriarch Jacob who must run away from home in order to escape the murderous intentions of his vengeful brother Esau. 

Jacob’s story is a story of exile. But if we look deeper, there is a great deal of inspiration embedded in the story which can direct us in times of challenge. 

Jacob begins his journey and dreams a dream. He sees angels ascending and descending a ladder and he understands that Gd is sending angels to watch over him in his journey. That comforts him as he leaves his home. 

Jacob arrives in the city of Charan, the dwelling place of his mother’s family. He is hoping to find a bride from amongst his relatives. 

Jacob arrives at the well, the local gathering place, and is surprised to see the local shepherds lounging about. When he questions their work ethic, they point to the well which is stopped up by a large boulder. They have to wait till all the shepherds gather in order to use their collective strength to move the rock. 

All of a sudden Rachel, a cousin of Jacob’s,approaches to water her flock. When Jacob sees her, he effortlessly lifts of the huge boulder by himself. 

We can suggest that his love for Rachel overcame his limitations, it is as if gravity lost its meaning when he thought of her. 

There are people who can clip our wings, there are people who give us the wings to soar. 

When Jacob recognized his eternal partner, he was given the opportunity to express his strength and potential. 

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger shares another understanding of the story of the boulder and the well.  

The well represents the wellspring of talents and gifts we all have. However, many people, even the most talented, fail because of a “boulder”, something blocking access to one’s potential and talents. In their conversation with Jacob, the shepherds utter the phrase, “we can’t do it”.  It’s impossible! 

That is what is holding them back. 

We, like the shepherds, are often deterred by the  “we can’t do it” attitude. 

Jacob, on the other hand, believed in the opportunity to overcome challenges and succeed despite the obstacles in his path. 

Everyone has a dream to accomplish something big in life, but the “I can’t do it” boulder is preventing the dream from becoming a reality. 

Jacob faced many challenges, but he forged ahead with an “I Can” philosophy, looking at the boulder in a different way. 

This week’s Torah portion is called Toldot, which means offspring. 

It is the portion which chronicles the life of our patriarch and matriarch, Isaac and Rebecca. 

Rebecca gives birth to twins, Jacob and Esau and the narrative describes the personalities of these twins and the  life path they each choose to follow. 

This past week was one of great tragedy in Israel. 

A young teenager, on his way to school, was senselessly murdered. As I read what was written about this young man, I saw in him, a parallel to our patriarch Jacob. 

The verses describe Jacob as an “ish tam” a wholesome person, “a dweller in tents”. 

The word “tam” is translated sometimes as perfect, but perhaps integrity and completeness are better translations. 

The Maharal, 16th century Torah giant,  teaches that the character trait of being a “tam” is a primary goal in character development. 

Rabbi Judah Mischel expounds on this idea of striving towards sincerity. He explains that the common definition of “tam” being perfection is the opposite of character development and spiritual growth. 

“Gd does not expect perfection from us, the entire system of repentance and the possibility of forgiveness is based on inevitable sins and mistakes.”

Jacob was called a person of wholeness and sincerity as his innermost thoughts and his words were integrated and connected. He saw the world with wonder,  innocence and completeness. 

When my children were in kindergarten they had an amazing teacher, the inimitable Morah Dena. 

She wrote a sweet ditty which we still sing to this day. 

“Sara’s Ohel (tent) as special as can be, clouds of Hashem (Gd) on top you can see. 

Candles lit from week to week

Challah so fresh it can’t be beat 

Sarah Imeinu (our matriarch) we miss you so

Rivka Imeinu will make your Ohel glow. 

Let’s delve into the deeper message of this seemingly simple song. 

This week’s Torah portion is Chayei Sara, which means the life of Sara. Yet the portion seems to focus on the details pursuing the death of Sara as Abraham deals with purchasing a burial plot for her. 

The portion then continues with the saga of finding a wife for Isaac, Abraham’s son which is concluded successfully with the marriage to Rebecca.  The  Torah relates that Isaac was comforted from the loss of his mother when he married Rebecca. 

Rashi the preeminent Torah commentary explains that there were three qualities that were unique to Sara’s tent which disappeared with her death. However, when Rebecca married Isaac, the three signs returned. This was a source of comfort to Isaac. 

What were those signs?

This week we will read the Torah portion of Vayera, which means He appeared. 

It refers to the fact that Abraham, our forefather, had recently undergone a Brit Mila, a circumcision, and while he was recovering, Gd appeared to him. 

Yet, immediately after this interaction with the Divine, Abraham lifts his eyes and sees three people approaching and in what would seem to be an inexplicably misguided set of priorities, Abraham turns his attention from Gd and rushes to attend to the  needs of these dusty, tired and hungry travelers. 

From this behavior our Sages learn the dictum

“ the deed of hospitality is greater than the welcoming of the Divine Presence. “

“Practical good deeds take precedence over any abstract spiritual enjoyment.” Nechama Leibowitz 

If we look at the verses that follow, we are regaled with details of the hospitality that ensued, and all the narrative is accompanied by one verb - haste. 

Abraham rushes to take care of his guests, leaving us, his future descendants, with a clear mission statement regarding the importance of hospitality. 

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Horowitz accents four practical lessons we can glean from the Torah portion. 

1. Abraham waits outside his home, he proactively searches for ways to help others, he does not wait for someone to knock on the door. 
2. Abraham was a wealthy man, with a staff at his disposal. But when it came to taking care of the guests, the narrative clearly writes that he and Sarah took care of the visitors themselves.
3. Abraham did not interrogate his guests. He did not feel that since he had cared for them, they “owed” him with the answers to intrusive questions. He maintained their dignity in the face of their vulnerability. 
4. These special guests will end their stay by telling their hosts that they will be miraculously blessed with a child. 

This, says Rabbi Horowitz, is the most profound message of hospitality, or hachnassat orchim in Hebrew. 

In the case of any kindness that we do, we end up receiving far more than we give. 

What a night. 

We just finished JWCATLANTA’s Challah Bake with a Twist. 

Under the able leadership of Elana Yoels and Jessica Dickson, almost 300 women learned to braid and flavor premade challah dough, and participated in a candle decorating project, while enjoying the company of friends old and new over a glass of wine. 

It was a celebration of Shabbat. 

We talked about the power of the Shabbat candles and how they are emblematic of creating connection. Just as one who wants to create a special ambience or connection with another would create a beautiful dinner with wine and candlelight, so too do we begin Shabbat. 

It is the woman who lights the Shabbat candles as women are typically the ultimate connectors. 

In this week’s Torah portion we meet another influencer. 

It is the Torah portion of Noah, and the story of the destruction  of the world by a flood and the survival of Noah in his family in the Ark. 

Five times in the portion it mentions Noah’s wife, but her actual name does not appear. It is  the Midrash that reveals her name, Naamah, which means pleasant, as her deeds were pleasant. 

One of the commentaries ask, why are we not told her name in the text, why is she continuously dubbed The Wife?

The explanation given is that in those dreadful days leading up to the Flood, the sanctity of marriage was corrupted. While men in those days were allowed more than one wife, they began the despicable practice of having one wife for childbirth, and another wife reserved for pleasure. The harmony and balance of the marital relationship which incorporates all aspects of interaction, was distorted. 

In the case of Noah and Naama she is given rhe appellation of The Wife, because they did not fall prey to this sick version of a marriage, but instead had a wholesome partnership. 

In this case, being called The Wife, was praise indeed.