Apparently my eye makeup is not waterproof.
Despite the protestations of the cosmetic company in question, some recent crying jags have resulted in beautiful raccoon eyes and black streaks down the cheeks.
Crying is a unique response.
It is rare to find an action that can express extreme and opposite emotions.
Tears are considered to be the “sweat of the soul”.
When we are extremely sad - we cry.
When we are extremely happy - we cry.
Tears spill when we are angry, frustrated, hysterically laughing and deeply moved.
The Talmud teaches us that when the Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, the gates of prayer were shut. Despite that seemingly dark reality, the Talmud continues that the Gates of Teard always remain open.
Crying out to Gd in any sort of pain is a way to reach out even when we cannot find the words to articulate our lacking.
This week’s Torah Portion is called Shlach, which means “send”. It is the tragic story of the 12 spies were sent to scout out the Land of Israel prior to entry.
Instead of seeing the incredible beauty of the Land, the spies returned with a negative report which they shared with the Jewish people upon their return. Instead of rejoicing in anticipation of entering the Land of Israel, the people sat in their tents and cried.
Rabbi Shaul Rosenblatt reminds us that the Torah highlights a facet of human nature. “When things are tough, it’s much easier to wallow in our own self pity than to embrace and overcome the challenge.”
The date the spies returned from their reconnaissance was the 9th day of the Hebrew month of Av.
Gd decreed that since the Jewish people cried for no reason at that time, there would be ample reason to cry on that day in the future.
And so it was.
The first Holy Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed on the 9th of Av.
The second Temple was also destroyed on the 9th of Av and it is the anniversary of many tragic Jewish historical events, including the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492.
Rabbi Rosenblatt reminds us that crying in the Jewish tradition is an appropriate way to express emotion. It is healthy to cry when one is in any kind of pain or when one is frustrated. The only kind of crying that is not healthy is crying out of self pity. When one feels hopeless then that crying takes away the resolve to step up and face challenges.
That is why Gd told the Jews who cried over the report of the spies that there would be a reason to cry in the future. That would transform the cry to something more productive.

Isn’t it amazing how some people have a story wherever they go?
Often speakers and pulpit rabbis seem to experience life changing events on every mundane airplane ride.
I think about this a lot.
And following on my recent obsession on the theme of being an “observant Jew” (see past articles for the definition I have been inspired by) it makes sense. Often people who speak are hoping to inspire with their message. Stands to reason that such people are keen observers of their environment and those that intersect with their path. They notice and learn from others and the wisdom they share.
Note to self: pay more attention in those public settings and don’t bury nose in book.
Rabbi Efram Goldberg recently had such an experience.
He shares that on a flight the passenger sitting next to him was growing increasingly agitated by the malfunction of her seat back screen. She got so distraught she was practically punching the screen in an effort to activate it. She caught the attention of a flight attendant and dramatically exclaimed that “nothing is working”.
The flight attendant calmly reframed.
“Nothing is working? We are in a metal box 33,000 feet in the air which will bring us to a new destination in a few hours. The plane is working fine. Isn’t that the main thing?”
Rabbi Goldberg cogitates on those words and brings from them a beautiful life lesson which connects to our Torah portion.
He reminds us that all of us have things that “aren’t working”, and those things may be minor or very significant. But if we focus on the things that are working, like breathing, seeing, hearing, thinking amongst a myriad of “mundane” gifts, we might feel quite differently about our lot in life.
This week’s Torah portion is called Behaalotcha, which means when you go up.
It is the conversation which is being had with Aaron the High Priest who is being given instruction on the lighting of the Menora.
In this portion there are many other topics. One of which is the series of complaints which the people lodge against Moses, decrying their situation. They mourn certain foodstuffs they used to eat in Egypt and gripe about the manna, the Superfood which was door dashed to the front of their tents. It is difficult to imagine these complaints.

Mazel Tov!
That’s the blessing that rings out when someone shares their good news.
We go to a simcha, a joyous occasion, a wedding, Brit, Bar or Bat Mitzva and we say Mazel Tov to those who are celebrating.
Someone buys a gorgeous new house or a brand new car.
Mazel Tov we say.
Seems quite straightforward.
We are well versed in the proper etiquette.
Sometimes it’s harder than one thinks.
What if we are experiencing financial hardship when our dear friend just bought a gorgeous house.
What if we are experiencing infertility when we attend the Brit.
What if we have just ended a long term relationship that we thought would end in a happily ever after as we attend a cherished friend’s wedding.
What kind of a Mazel Tov are we extending?
In this week’s Torah portion is called Naso, which means lift up.
In this portion we have the very famous priestly blessing.
This blessing is extended by the priests to the congregation to this day. The priests ascend the platform which is called the Duchan and from there they share the blessing on the congregation.
I may have shared with you before the story of a young man from the former Soviet Union who was able to emigrate to New York. As a very accomplished student, he received a scholarship to Yeshiva University where he was assigned a tutor to help him navigate the system. The young man worked diligently and tirelessly, achieving much success. His tutor, worried for his health suggested a break. He recommended an hour or two in the student lounge in front of the television, suggesting it was a good way to learn some English. The tutor left the student in front of the TV until a few moments later the young man rushed in and said he found a relative on TV. It turns out that the show playing was Startrek and Mr. Spock had just shown his famous hand motion. Leonard Nimoy was a Jewish actor and he incorporated some of his Jewish heritage into his part. The sign Mr. Spock made with his hand was the way a Cohen/priest hold his hand when administering the priestly blessing. It turned out that this young man grew up in the former Soviet Union when practicing Judaism was highly dangerous. His grandfather taught him one thing. He showed the boy the hand motion of the priestly blessing and said this is the sign of our family. He admonished his grandson never to forget it.
The Russian young man ended his story by saying he was probably the first person to learn he was a Cohen from Mr. Spock.

Hi all.
Don’t worry.
You did not lose a day.
It’s not Thursday.
It is indeed Wednesday.
The holiday of Shavuot begins tomorrow evening and is celebrated for two days, Friday and Shabbat.
This confusion of days reminds me of something that happened a number of years ago when Shavuot was on Friday and Shabbat.
I was actually in labor on my way to give birth. We were living in Baltimore at the time and we were headed to Sinai hospital.
Here it was Shavuot and we were headed to Sinai. (Mt Sinai is where we received the Torah, the 613 Commandments, on Shavuot. Jewish hospitals are sometimes called Sinai or Mt Sinai because all who were ill were cured there at the time the Torah was given.)
We don’t drive on holidays. but the impending birth allowed us to do so as long as no unnecessary mechanical efforts were made, like turning on the radio.
We pulled up at Sinai hospital and my husband jumped out of the car to help me get out but he didn’t turn off the engine. The dispensation which allows for driving or doing anything mechanical with the car, runs out when the destination has been achieved.
Non Jewish Sinai hospital staff are well versed in Jewish law and are familiar with Rabbis jumping out of cars on Shabbat and leaving them running. The policy was for them to then park the car and bring the keys to reception.
So we were not worried about the reaction we would receive from the parking attendant.
Until the gentleman on duty called after my husband’s retreating back as he was bringing me to the Emergency entrance yelling
“ Rabbi! It’s Friday”.
So reaching out one day earlier than expected with a quick Shavuot message.

We have just commenced the fourth of the five Books of the Torah. This book is entitled BaMidbar which means “in the desert”, and the first Torah portion has the same name. The portion begins with a census being taken of the Jewish people.
This counting seems superfluous as there was a census taken after the sin of the Golden Calf.
Why does one count something repeatedly?
When we love that something very much, we have a tendency to count it again and again to make sure all is still there.
Think of a miser counting his gold coins.
Or, in a more relatable example, think of the mom in Disney, counting heads over and over to make sure not one child is missing.
Both examples of love instigating counting.
When Gd counts us it is to give the message that each one of us counts.
This may seem counterintuitive.
We know the Nazis had an obsession with counting their Jews. They tortured the Jewish inmates by repetitively counting them in the most inhumane of circumstances. They also assigned numbers to their prisoners. The philosophy of these barbarians was to dehumanize each Jew, stripping identity and replacing it with a number.
Gd’s counting is the polar opposite. It is a loving counting which embraces and supports the identity of each person.
Gd is saying to each of us that we matter. Without our presence in the world there is a hole in the tapestry of Creation.
That is because each of us has a role to play.
The Book of BaMidbar, is also called the Book of Numbers. In Hebrew, Sefer Pekidim.
The word Pekidim is very similar to the word Tafkid which means job or mission.
Our job is to focus and find our job.
In her recent book which has topped the New York Times best seller list, Rachel Goldberg Polin shares much poignant wisdom. Her book, “When We See You Again” is required reading in my opinion.
Rachel shares a teaching of the Baal Shem Tov, the father of Chasidism, who was asked
“Why does a soul come to the world?” Why are we here? What’s the point?
He answered that a soul comes to this earth to do one act of kindness. One moment.
This does not mean that the rest of life is meaningless, there have to be continual acts of kindness, growth and improvement. But it means there really is an intricate plan for you to do one thing, one day for one person. And what if we’ve accomplished that deed at a young age, why are we still here? Perhaps because someone needs to do their kindness to ME and it hasn’t happened yet.
Because we are all part of this synergy of interwovenness.
Taken from an interview of Rachel Goldberg Polin @unpackingisraelihistory
We as a Jewish people function at our highest level when we experience that “interwovenness”. We only received the Torah when we were so unified that we were “like one heart with one soul”.
But in that unity we never want to lose sight of the one.
We do not set out to lose our identity, to just become a number, rather we want to retain our individuality while maintaining a deep connection to each other.

When I was a young adult, I was so blessed to have the opportunity to study in Israel for two years. My gap year turned from year to years and had my mother not called me home I would be there till this day.
The fact that I was so enamored with Israel may not surprise many but there was an obstacle that I had to overcome.
My first year studying in the land of milk and honey was what is called a “Shmitta” year.
What, might you ask, is Shmitta?
It is the seventh year of a seven year cycle during which the Torah commands the Jews in the Land of Israel to allow the land to lay fallow.
Practically speaking, this means no agricultural work.
Just as there are six days of work and on the seventh day we rest, so too the land also experiences a sabbatical.
On December 10,1992, an article appeared in The New York Times. It interviewed the general secretary of a kibbutz, a farm collective, Kibbutz Chofetz Chaim was founded in 1944 with the intention to create a kibbutz based on Torah law. That meant that all precepts regarding agriculture would be adhered to carefully. They were put to the test immediately because the few months following their founding was a Shmitta year.
Times were very challenging, food was scarce, nonetheless the Kibbutz conquered the challenge.
I’m 1992 the author of the NYT article gave testimony that the kibbutz continued to fulfill the Torah commandments regarding agriculture saying it “takes the Word at its word”.
“The land belongs to the Almighty and not to you” said Moshe Brukenthal, the Kibbutz general secretary. “It’s good to be reminded there’s Someone higher than you”.
Leaving the farms untended can seem to portend ruin for the farmer. But there are multitudes of miraculous stories that abound regarding the Divine Providence which is extended to those who take this difficult challenge.
One famous story was reported about a Moshav which is located about 15 minutes away from Kibbutz Chofetz Chaim.
In the 1951-2 Shmitta year, Kommemiyut was a newly established Moshav which had also made the commitment to Shmitta observance. That year a massive swarm of locusts devastated the farms in the vicinity of Kommemiyut. It was reported at the time that when the locusts reached the boundaries of the Moshav they took a sharp turn leaving all their fields untouched.
This week’s Torah portion (a double one again) of Behar and Bechukotai, is the source for these laws.
In the Parsha the Torah mentions that when we learn about these laws we may become afraid that we won’t have enough food. The Torah preempts the question which is top of our minds and asks for us
“What will we eat”?

Tomorrow, Friday May 1, corresponds with the 14th day of Iyar. It will be exactly a month since Passover.
(That doesn’t even seem possible, time doesn’t fly it zips away in a blink).
The second year after the redemption from Egypt, during Passover, a group of people were unable to participate. Their spiritual condition was sullied and therefore they could not perform the Passover sacrifice.
Instead of quietly slinking off into oblivion or thanking their lucky stars that they got a pass on Passover, this group took a stand. They approached Moshe and petitioned for the opportunity they had missed.
Moshe does not dismiss them, instead he brings their case to Gd.
The response is a positive one.
Gd says yes, there is a place for you in this observance.
All is not lost.
From this interaction is born
Pesach Sheini, the second Passover.
Its message for us: is all is never lost. Even if the gates forward in spiritual growth seem hopelessly shackled shut, they are actually never locked completely. If you have a desire, there is a way through.
It is also important to note that this concept of a second chance only happened because this group took initiative and asked. Without their drive and desire to fulfill the Mitzva, no solution would have appeared.
So, tomorrow is a hopeful day.
It signifies to us that we are not bound by the chains of missed chances and can fly on the optimistic wings of opportunities to be taken.
Rabbi Yaakov Emden, 18th century Rabbinic leader, teaches that the Jews were given a second chance to bring their Paschal offering specifically on the 14th of Iyar because that was the last day when the Jews still had leftover Matza from when they left Egypt. When they finished the last of the Matza on the evening of the 15th they questioned Gd on the nature of their food supply and in the 15th the Manna began to fall. So it is as though the 14th is the end of the Exodus and the 15th marks a new stage of life in the Redemption process.
This week’s Torah portion is
entitled Emor which means “say to”. The opening sentence is Gd telling Moshe to speak to the priests, the sons of Aaron.
Every word in the Torah is meticulously chosen, so it would seem unnecessary to reiterate to the priests that they are the sons of Aaron. They are well aware of that fact.
The Sages explain that before the priests are given instruction they must be reminded of whence they come and who is their spiritual role model.
They will build on that reality to go forth.
We too need to remember what our roots are because if we strive for holiness we need to remember who came before us and who has paved the way. We stand on the shoulders of our matriarchs and patriarchs-our spiritual role models.
When we know our roots, we can spring forward.

This week we have another double Torah portion. Acharei Mot and Kedoshim. The first means after the death. The second means holy ones.
There is an old joke that my Dad zl used to say.
Acharei Mot-Kedoshim.
Which means that human nature has a tendency to whitewash the mistakes of someone who has passed on.
So after the death-Kedoshim, they are only remembered as holy ones.
Ok. Not his best.
This week I had an experience which completely changed my understanding of the phrase that has been created by the juxtaposition of two names of Torah portions.
Acharei Mot speaks about working through atonement specifically via Yom Kippur and its particular service. Yom Kippur is a time when we face the mistakes we have made and strive to atone. The soul is pure but a human being errs. How do use these missteps to help us grow and be more connected.
That is the essence of holiness. Taking the steps to be connected to the Divine. Within each of us resides a spark of Gdliness. Our job in this world is to fan that spark and to become more Gdly.
How does one accomplish such a feat?
The Torah portion of Kedoshim gives us 51 commandments to help us become holy.
The Torah portion of Kedoshim is 64 verses and it packs a powerful punch as it is loaded with these 51 commandments which direct us how to become moral and ethical people.
In a word - Gdly.
Topics covered in this pursuit of Gdliness include not perverting justice, not gossiping, employment of accurate weights and measures -being honest in business, rising before the elderly, love your neighbor as yourself, and do not hate and do not take revenge
Holiness is bred by having upright standards between people.
“Holiness wanders throughout our life, touching on the myriad pursuits of our day to day existence”. Rabbi R. Tradburks.
It is an uplifting thought. We can turn our daily actions into holy pursuits and that fans the sparks of Gdliness.
This is a lovely and inspirational aspiration. The Torah knows we can step up and gives us directions on how to access our intrinsic holiness.
It’s accessible to us all.

Today was garbage day pickup in my neighborhood.
I drove down the street and saw two different neighbors taking out their trash.
Very pedestrian activity.
Very normal behavior.
I didn’t think much of it.
As I drove on - I had an epiphany.
These two people had something in common.
These two people are not just “regular” people.
Each of these people experienced great challenge in their lives and prevailed.
Each of these people were faced with very grim outcomes to their situations and they overcame nonetheless.
Sometimes during the course of those events they appeared surly or short tempered. But they were navigating harsh circumstances. They were sensitive to the comments made by others who did not understand the depth of the pain they were experiencing.
Yet they persevered and now were blissfully ignorant of my thoughts on their successes as they were engaged in the mundane activity of taking out the trash.
I know this about them because they happen to be my friends.
But if you did not know their story you would never know these are actually heroic individuals.
Just watching them take out their trash makes them seem so average because you just see a tiny fraction of who they truly are at their core.
But to me they are superheroes.
Hanoch Daum is an Israeli comedian. He plays to sold out crowds and writes books which are parodies on Israeli life.
That is who Hanoch Daum seems to be.
But there is much more than meets the eye.
Hanoch Daum has become the spokesperson of the Israeli man or woman about town.
In many of his posts he doesn’t focus on humor. Instead he tells the back story we would not know about a brave soldier who lost his life in service of our country. He will highlight the story of a soldier who has lost most of his livelihood as he has been at service and Hanoch will post about the soldiers business and ask the country to support him. Of he will highlight the greatness of our soldiers and pray we will merit their sacrifices.
Hanoch posted a picture today of an amputee. A man who lost his leg in combat.
The picture evokes sympathy. We feel so sorry for this young man and the loss of his limb and the reality that this disability will hamper him forever.
But then we read the soldier’s letter that Hanoch posts.
Hanoch shares the soldiers story. His name is Amit Brenner and he has created a speech about his situation called “A leg will not grow”. In his speech Amit shares that the unfortunate loss of his leg, the incident that has happened to him is just a tool. “The real message is about the day after. On how we choose to look at reality as a starting point and not as the end of the road, on appreciating the obvious and the resilience that each of us has inside - even when it seems everything has fallen apart.”
Amit Brenner seems to be a handicapped individual, but that is a very narrow view of who he is. Amit is actually a soaring spirit whose feet don’t touch the ground.
And Hanoch Daum is not simply a comic, he is a prophet of positivity, an elevated person who uses his platform to lift all in his orbit by seeing them for who they really are.

Passover is coming.
In these hectic days before the holiday we are engaged in a myriad of preparations.
While I too have been immersed in the mundane activities of cleaning shopping and preparing I am struggling with remaining connected to our brothers and sisters who are living in a war zone in Israel.
I don’t want to lose sight of what they are experiencing.
This desire to remain focused has led me to think about ways to do just that.
I’ve been trying to make sure to include a prayer daily - sometimes saying a chapter of Psalms (available on Jwcatlanta.org) or I offer up a personal self made prayer.
I make a point of calling family in Israel daily to let them know I am thinking of them.
There are many options to give charity to worthwhile causes in Israel and that is another way to stay connected.
I read constantly about developments and stay informed about the incessant rocket barrages.
I marvel at the resilience of our people as I read real time accounts of bravery.
There is Ido, the young man who takes an elderly lady to the bomb shelter every time there is an alert.
Or the memes about Israelis lining up to buy coffee immediately after being released from the safe rooms.
The empty nesters who go down to communal bomb shelters armed with giant coloring books and assortments of crayons to keep the children busy.
And the impromptu concerts and matchmaking sessions that spring up all around the country.
I talk to my Mom on the phone in Jerusalem and hear the siren blaring in the background and she calms me by saying she survived The Blitz in London in WW2 and this too will pass.
Her faith inspires me.