This week’s Torah portion is called Toldot, which means offspring. 

It is the portion which chronicles the life of our patriarch and matriarch, Isaac and Rebecca. 

Rebecca gives birth to twins, Jacob and Esau and the narrative describes the personalities of these twins and the  life path they each choose to follow. 

This past week was one of great tragedy in Israel. 

A young teenager, on his way to school, was senselessly murdered. As I read what was written about this young man, I saw in him, a parallel to our patriarch Jacob. 

The verses describe Jacob as an “ish tam” a wholesome person, “a dweller in tents”. 

The word “tam” is translated sometimes as perfect, but perhaps integrity and completeness are better translations. 

The Maharal, 16th century Torah giant,  teaches that the character trait of being a “tam” is a primary goal in character development. 

Rabbi Judah Mischel expounds on this idea of striving towards sincerity. He explains that the common definition of “tam” being perfection is the opposite of character development and spiritual growth. 

“Gd does not expect perfection from us, the entire system of repentance and the possibility of forgiveness is based on inevitable sins and mistakes.”

Jacob was called a person of wholeness and sincerity as his innermost thoughts and his words were integrated and connected. He saw the world with wonder,  innocence and completeness. 

When my children were in kindergarten they had an amazing teacher, the inimitable Morah Dena. 

She wrote a sweet ditty which we still sing to this day. 

“Sara’s Ohel (tent) as special as can be, clouds of Hashem (Gd) on top you can see. 

Candles lit from week to week

Challah so fresh it can’t be beat 

Sarah Imeinu (our matriarch) we miss you so

Rivka Imeinu will make your Ohel glow. 

Let’s delve into the deeper message of this seemingly simple song. 

This week’s Torah portion is Chayei Sara, which means the life of Sara. Yet the portion seems to focus on the details pursuing the death of Sara as Abraham deals with purchasing a burial plot for her. 

The portion then continues with the saga of finding a wife for Isaac, Abraham’s son which is concluded successfully with the marriage to Rebecca.  The  Torah relates that Isaac was comforted from the loss of his mother when he married Rebecca. 

Rashi the preeminent Torah commentary explains that there were three qualities that were unique to Sara’s tent which disappeared with her death. However, when Rebecca married Isaac, the three signs returned. This was a source of comfort to Isaac. 

What were those signs?

This week we will read the Torah portion of Vayera, which means He appeared. 

It refers to the fact that Abraham, our forefather, had recently undergone a Brit Mila, a circumcision, and while he was recovering, Gd appeared to him. 

Yet, immediately after this interaction with the Divine, Abraham lifts his eyes and sees three people approaching and in what would seem to be an inexplicably misguided set of priorities, Abraham turns his attention from Gd and rushes to attend to the  needs of these dusty, tired and hungry travelers. 

From this behavior our Sages learn the dictum

“ the deed of hospitality is greater than the welcoming of the Divine Presence. “

“Practical good deeds take precedence over any abstract spiritual enjoyment.” Nechama Leibowitz 

If we look at the verses that follow, we are regaled with details of the hospitality that ensued, and all the narrative is accompanied by one verb - haste. 

Abraham rushes to take care of his guests, leaving us, his future descendants, with a clear mission statement regarding the importance of hospitality. 

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Horowitz accents four practical lessons we can glean from the Torah portion. 

1. Abraham waits outside his home, he proactively searches for ways to help others, he does not wait for someone to knock on the door. 
2. Abraham was a wealthy man, with a staff at his disposal. But when it came to taking care of the guests, the narrative clearly writes that he and Sarah took care of the visitors themselves.
3. Abraham did not interrogate his guests. He did not feel that since he had cared for them, they “owed” him with the answers to intrusive questions. He maintained their dignity in the face of their vulnerability. 
4. These special guests will end their stay by telling their hosts that they will be miraculously blessed with a child. 

This, says Rabbi Horowitz, is the most profound message of hospitality, or hachnassat orchim in Hebrew. 

In the case of any kindness that we do, we end up receiving far more than we give. 

What a night. 

We just finished JWCATLANTA’s Challah Bake with a Twist. 

Under the able leadership of Elana Yoels and Jessica Dickson, almost 300 women learned to braid and flavor premade challah dough, and participated in a candle decorating project, while enjoying the company of friends old and new over a glass of wine. 

It was a celebration of Shabbat. 

We talked about the power of the Shabbat candles and how they are emblematic of creating connection. Just as one who wants to create a special ambience or connection with another would create a beautiful dinner with wine and candlelight, so too do we begin Shabbat. 

It is the woman who lights the Shabbat candles as women are typically the ultimate connectors. 

In this week’s Torah portion we meet another influencer. 

It is the Torah portion of Noah, and the story of the destruction  of the world by a flood and the survival of Noah in his family in the Ark. 

Five times in the portion it mentions Noah’s wife, but her actual name does not appear. It is  the Midrash that reveals her name, Naamah, which means pleasant, as her deeds were pleasant. 

One of the commentaries ask, why are we not told her name in the text, why is she continuously dubbed The Wife?

The explanation given is that in those dreadful days leading up to the Flood, the sanctity of marriage was corrupted. While men in those days were allowed more than one wife, they began the despicable practice of having one wife for childbirth, and another wife reserved for pleasure. The harmony and balance of the marital relationship which incorporates all aspects of interaction, was distorted. 

In the case of Noah and Naama she is given rhe appellation of The Wife, because they did not fall prey to this sick version of a marriage, but instead had a wholesome partnership. 

In this case, being called The Wife, was praise indeed. 

Our kids are coming home! They are coming from the four corners of the earth ( ok I’m exaggerating, but none of them live in Atlanta). 

The ingathering is quite a miracle really. 

As exciting as it is there is always the prayer that everyone will get along. 

When children come home they sometimes revert to should we call them, old patterns?

What’s the occasion you may ask?

They are returning home to celebrate the upcoming holiday of Sukkot. 

There are many rituals that are associated with the holiday, like eating meals in a Sukka, which is a flimsy type of hut reminiscent of the structures the Jewish people lived in during their trek through the desert. Sitting in the Sukka is a lovely experience. We leave our sturdy homes (unless we live in the path of Ian) and move into a temporary structure. This makes us pause as we take a moment to recognize the blessings in our lives as we focus on the gifts we have been given. Much of the familiar and material is put aside and we feel grateful for the gifts of our existence. It’s a time to enjoy wonderful meals with family and friends in a setting open to nature, under the stars. 

Think Pizza in the Hut. 

Another practice of Sukkot is the taking of the Four Species, the Lulav, a palm frond, an Etrog a citron, Hadassim myrtle branches and Aravot- willows. The four are held together as part of the rituals of Sukkot. Each of the species represent a different type of person. The Lulav represents one blessed with Torah wisdom, the Etrog intuits a person who is blessed with Torah and good deeds, the Hadassim reflects a person with exhibits good deeds and the Aravot is symbolic of a person who has neither good deeds nor wisdom. 

The powerful message of the taking of the Four Species is that the mitzva requires taking all four together. If one is missing, the mitzva is incomplete. This indicates that the Jewish people is only complete when we all join together and support one another. We all need each other and we all complete each other.

The Jewish people can only have a relationship with the Divine if we can all accept and embrace one another, despite any lacking or differences. 

Carrying around the Four Species creates quite the visual. 

Even the TSA had to be briefed on the unusual flora, and they have codified in their regulations that travelers may take the Species on the plane and they are not any type of weaponry no matter the fact that the Lulav may look somewhat intimidating. 

A few days ago I was about to walk into a store in my neighborhood and I saw a dear friend. We exchanged warm hellos and then I was about to continue into the store when she said she wanted to talk to me about something. 

She then proceeded to tell me that I had thoughtlessly done something very hurtful to her. She then explained in detail what had happened. 

After she finished I was in a state of shock. 

So many thoughts tumbled through my mind. 

My first reaction was to be defensive, how could she think I would do such a thing?

I thought of many ways to explain it all away. 

Then I took a deep breath and a huge gulp, and I simply apologized. I explained that I had never intended to hurt her. 

I listened carefully as she explained her position and I understood where I had indeed erred. 

Then, I took the opportunity to thank her from the bottom of my heart for being willing to be so open, vulnerable and brave with me so that I could repair a fissure that I had created. 

In these days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we have the chance to make amends. 

It is a time for reconciliation between ourselves and the people in our orbit, and between ourselves and Gd. 

But reconciling often requires making an apology for committing a wrong. 

But apologizing (unlike Breaking Up) is hard to do. 

Why is it so hard?

It is with a very heart that I take pen to paper. 

The Atlanta Jewish community is reeling over the loss of a young person whose life was tragically cut short. 

Everyone is grappling with the pain, worrying about the family and trying to make sense of the horrific event. 

There are no easy answers. 

We know life is finite. 

But life should be long, and should end in old age. 

Here the end came so very, very prematurely. 

It is hard to imagine where to find a source to withstand such pain. 

In this week’s Torah portion 

the Jewish people stood before Moses, on the last day of his life. 

It is recorded in the Torah that they were standing before him on that day:

Atem Nitzavim HaYom

You are standing Today. 

(This week’s Torah portion is called Nitzavim, standing)

We are acutely aware of Today. There are no guarantees of tomorrow.  

We have to use the time allotted to us with care and thought because none of us know for certain that there is another day to come. 

Today I saw a sight that filled me with pity. 

As the event unfolded before my eyes I could feel the feeling of loss, frustration and deep sense of regret in the protagonist. 

The feeling of a missed opportunity was hanging heavy and I could relate completely. 

Let me elaborate. 

I was driving down the road and I noticed a woman, standing in the middle of the street. 

She stood, alone, shoulders slumped in defeat, a full garbage bag in her hand with the specter of the garbage truck beating a hasty exit before her. 

I could feel her pain. 

If only she had been there a minute before!

What a lost opportunity. 

This is a very timely allegory. 

We are poised to enter the High Holiday season and we have in hand a heavy load. 

Perhaps missed opportunities to say kind words. 

Perhaps unkind words we let escape from our lips. 

Perhaps we misjudged someone without giving the benefit of the doubt. 

But we are so fortunate. 

We are not watching the garbage truck speed off into the horizon. 

We can still hop aboard a vehicle of self awareness. 

We have the opportunity to show up and move forward.