One of our daughters is blessed with a best friend. They have been like sisters since infancy. This is not a relationship to be taken for granted. These two are not peas in a pod. They are in fact polar opposites. From an early age our daughter loved to read. She would get lost in a good book to the degree that you couldn’t get any communication from her. Our daughter also loved sports-the ultimate tomboy- she was always ready for any ball game going. She had and has no trouble keeping up with her brothers. The best friend was the ultimate girly girl. Dolls, playing house and tea parties were her go to. There is one vignette, captured for eternity on a video, where our daughter is sitting with her nose in a book as her friend tries to get her attention to play dolls. All of a sudden our daughter notices the boys are beginning a game of basketball. As she heads out to join the game, her little friend says in frustration “just go, go alweady”.

If you are scratching your heads over this duo you are not alone. Yet, these two somehow were able to see above their differences, tap into what united them, to create and sustain a lifelong friendship. 

This week’s Torah portion is Shelach, which means send. The Jewish people had their encounter with Gd and Mount Sinai and now they are headed to the land of Israel. In anticipation of the upcoming conquest, the people requested a reconnaissance mission to spy the land. 

Gd acquiesces and responds to Moses with the words  “Shelach lecha anashim” send for you people, spies. Gd says if you feel the need to send out spies, so go already, and send them out. 

The journey from Mt. Sinai to the land of Israel should have taken eleven days. 

Instead it took 40 years. 

Did Moses not stop to ask directions?

What took so long?

It was the report of the spies that was the source of their downfall. 

The spies came back with frightful stories that frightened the people. 

The Kli Yakar, 16th century commentator notices that the the word for people, anashim, is the male gender. It was only men who were sent. 

The Kli Yakar comments that if only women had been sent, this whole debacle would have never taken place. The women had faith, they saw the miracles of the plagues and the splitting of the sea and they believed that the Land of Israel would be a place of blessing. 

Instead, the men returned from the spying with a bad report which bodes ill, and cried all that night. 

The commentaries ask why does it say “that” night?

Because they cried for naught that night and accepted an evil report against the land, they were destined to cry for a reason in the future on that night, when truly terrible things would take place for our people. 

“That night” was the 9th day of the month of Av, the date when in the future, both of the Temples would be destroyed in Jerusalem in 586BCE and in 70CE. 

This lack of faith, the inability to see the possibilities of a life in the land of Israel, resulted in a decree that all men between the ages of 20-60 would die in the ensuing 40 years in the desert, never to have the ability to go to Israel. 

During those 40 years, on the eve of the 9th of Av, these men would dig graves and lie in them. The next morning some of their number would not climb out of that grave. 

In this manner, the generation of men died in the desert, punished for their lack of faith. 

We can understand why that generation was punished for their lack of faith. 

But why does the 9th of Av continue to be a day of mourning?

The first Temple in Jerusalem was destroyed because we sinned the three cardinal sins, idol worship, murder and illicit relations. But 70 years later the Temple was rebuilt. Apparently we understood the punishment and learned from our mistakes. But the second Temple was destroyed for an entirely different reason. The second Temple was destroyed for the sin of baseless hatred. We were not able to see there is more than unites us than what divides us. 

And we have not righted that wrong. 

We are still judging one another unfavorably. 

For that reason we are still crying on the 9th of Av, which will be commemorated on August 7, 2022 this year. 

How can we correct this situation?

It is only by doing acts of senseless kindness, extending the benefit of the doubt, not listening to bad reports about others, that will ultimately rectify the situation and literally bring us back home. 

Home should be a place of acceptance. A place where we can be vulnerable knowing it is a safe space. 

Home is the Land of Israel, the charging station of the Jewish soul. 

My daughter and her friend are adults now. They are enriched by a friendship that emerged from caring for one another in spite of their differences. 

The safe place they created for one another creates caring and peace. A real sisterhood. 

So isn’t it time for us to just “go alweady”, to move forward into the light of peaceful, loving and nurturing relationships so that we can move into an era of ultimate peace, when the final and Third Temple will be rebuilt, a home in our Homeland. 

Shabbat Shalom and so much love!