Today was the 9th day of Av. It is customary to spend the day in mourning as we immerse ourselves in the tragedy of the day.
Part of the day revolves around the recitation of Kinnot. These are liturgical poems which evoke the pain we have experienced throughout exile. Some of the poems focus on the destruction of the Temple. Others focus on the Crusades and pogroms that happened to the Jewish people. There are also more contemporary Kinnot which commemorate the Holocaust and the events surrounding it.
For many years, our family worked in a summer camp in the Catskill Mountains in upstate New York. This is a family owned camp, and they have many beautiful customs which have become part of the camp experience.
On Tisha BAv, they have a custom to sing a unique tune to one of the Kinnot. The manner in which it is sung, brings the poem to life.
The Kinna contrasts the emotions of the Jewish people in two particular circumstances.
The first line of each stanza recalls the joy felt when we experienced a particular aspect when we left Egypt, a time of miracles, great happiness and the palpable presence of Gd.
That line of the stanza is sung aloud and joyously.
The next line in the stanza focuses on the same idea but looks at it through the lens of a different leave taking, this one being when we left Jerusalem.
That exit was somber and tragic. The Jewish people were being exiled from their land, and now the sad mood is reflected in a serious tune and a lowered voice.
The contrast of the two scenarios is shocking and extreme.
For example, one stanza focuses on the people who led us.
When we were leaving Egypt, we had Moses who provided for us and Aaron the High Priest who guided us, they were the leaders who provided succor.
However, when we left Jerusalem, the two protagonists who were larger than life were Nebuchadnezzar and Hadrian, the Roman leaders who brought tremendous destruction to our people and to our land.
The song transports us between the extreme high of Salvation and then plummets to the lowest low of Exile.
From Redemption to Exile.
From Galut to Geulah!
It’s an incredibly moving rendition.
As an introduction to each Poem/Kinna, one of the educators frames the lesson we can take away from the poem.
Today, our son, spoke about this Kinna.
He shared the true story of an Israeli young man who was dating, with matrimony being the object.
He was having a difficult time as he unfortunately sported a large and disfiguring scar on his face. It served as a deterrent to the young ladies.
He turned to his mentor in despair. The Rabbi told him that the next time he had the opportunity to date a young lady, he should immediately tell her the story of how he acquired the scar.
Soon a blind date was arranged and upon meeting the young woman and making the appropriate introductions, he immediately launched into his tale.
“You might wonder about the scar on my face” he began.
He then proceeded to tell the story of his excursion to a park once with his parents. While he was at the park, he heard blood curdling screams. Without a thought for his own safety, he ran towards the screaming and saw a terrorist attacking a young woman. He managed to throw the terrorist to the ground but in the process of subduing the perpetrator he received a slash across the face from the knife wielding terrorist. Shortly thereafter security forces arrived and he was rushed to the hospital to tend to his injuries.
As the young man concluded the story he noticed his companion’s blood had drained from her face, she looked completely ashen.
She whispered that she had tried for the past few years to discover his identity as she in fact was the one he had saved.
The story concludes most satisfactorily with their nuptials.
The scar, which had been his impediment, became the agent of his success.
The Kinna which celebrates the successes and then bemoans the failures brings to light that each of these are really two sides of the same coin.
We can celebrate the good that happened to us, but when we acknowledge the bad if we can see that it was the vehicle for growth, we can see the potential it provided.

I once went to a convention. It was one of those events where you present your ID at registration. When I arrived at checkin I was told that I was already there.
Clearly there was some mistake.
Was there someone out there with my name?
Then I attended another event and was surprised to see my name flash across the screen as someone who has served in the Israeli Defense Forces.
Clearly there was a case of mistaken identity afoot.
The notion of a mixup such as this has been the subject of many a drama.
It is also at the root of the tragedy that befell the Jewish people.
We are approaching the Ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av.
This is the ultimate day of mourning as we commemorate the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.
There were many events that caused the destruction. Our Sages identify the sin of baseless hatred as the driver for all the internecine strife that fractured the Jewish people and destroyed the Second Temple.
This lack of love and care for one another is encapsulated in the tale narrated in the Talmud about Kamtza and Bar Kamtza.
A gentleman decided to host a party. He drew up a list of invitees and sent his servant with the invitations. The servant did not read the list carefully.
He was told to invite a man by the name of Kamtza.
Unfortunately, in a case of mistaken identity, he accidentally delivered the invitation to someone named Bar Kamtza.
Bar Kamtza was very surprised to receive the invitation because he and the host were sworn enemies.
He assumed that the host, whose name is not known to us, was ready to bury the hatchet and he was delighted.
Unfortunately, when Bar Kamtza arrived at the party the host was not at all as pleased. Instead he wanted to immediately eject Bar Kamtza from the premises.
When Bar Kamtza heard about the misunderstanding he recognized that a mistake had occurred but he begged to be allowed to remain. He felt he would be extremely embarrassed to be thrown out in such a public manner.
He offered to pay for the price of his meal, but the host wouldn’t hear of it.
Bar Kamtza then offered to pay for half of the tab for the entire shindig, but he was again rebuffed.
In desperation, Bar Kamtza offered to pay for the entire party so as not to be embarrassed, but the host was steadfast and had Bar Kamtza forcibly removed.
There were a number of Sages present and they remained silent throughout the exchange.
Bar Kamtza interpreted their silence as tacit approval of their host’s behavior.
Bar Kamtza was so upset, he went straight to the Roman authorities and slandered the Jews which fueled the anger of the Romans and they attacked the Jewish people and destroyed the holy Temple.

This week’s Torah portion is a double one. The portions called Mattos and Masei conclude the book of Bamidbar, the Book of Numbers. One incident which is recorded in Mattos is the retaliatory war the Jewish people launched against their enemy, the people of Midian. The Midianites had launched an offensive against the Jewish nation, luring the people to sin in idolatry and immorality. Now Gd commanded the Jewish people to go to war to exact vengeance. 

Gd commanded Moses to prepare for war. 

Moses is told to conscript 

“ a 1000 from each tribe, a 1000 from each tribe, from all the tribes of Israel you shall send into the army”. 

The commentaries question the double language, why not just say 2,000 people were to be conscripted from each tribe?

The Midrash explains that the command is given in this manner to indicate that each tribe was to send 1000 soldiers to go to war and an additional 1000 who were to accompany the soldiers to war in order to pray for their success. 

Rabbi Chatzkel Levenstein, 20th century master Torah teacher explains this concept. 

He teaches that the impending battle was no small matter. It was to be 24,000 troops against a mighty army. Gd commanded this unique pairing of physical soldier and spiritual soldier to make each warrior aware that his success was not due to his own might alone. Rather, it was the heavenly assistance that was assuring victory.

Operation Protective Edge was a military operation launched by Israel in 2014 subsequent to the horrific kidnapping and murder of three Israeli teens. 

A year after the Operation, an American couple from Los Angeles, traveled to Israel on vacation. They were staying in Herzlia and decided to visit a restaurant that was situated near the water. It was a two story establishment and they were shown to a table on the first floor by a friendly waiter. Betsy and Simon made a request to be seated on the second floor so they could enjoy the view. The request was accommodated and a second waiter welcomed them to their new spot. In a friendly and chatty manner he apprised them of the specials and prepared to walk away to give them some time to make their dinner choices. As he moved away from the table he told them his name was Barak and he looked forward to being their server that evening.

Betsy got the chills when she heard the waiter’s name. 

Do you admit to having read Harry Potter?

I will. 

I am quite the fan. 

I enjoyed each book and was often amazed not only by the imaginative scope but also by references to Judaic sources. 

Do you remember the sorting hat? 

When a new student would arrive at Hogwarts, the first order of business was to assign the student to one of the four Houses in the school. 

This was accomplished by briefly donning a talking hat, known as the sorting hat. 

The student would put on the hat and within moments the hat would announce the House to which the student would belong to forever more. 

The decision of the hat was absolute, it brooked no argument and once rendered the verdict was complete. 

This week’s Torah portion is called Pinchos and one of the topics covered is the upcoming division of the Land of Israel. 

The nation, divided into the Tribes, is going to be awarded specific portions of land. 

The Torah portion tells us how it was done - via lottery. 

The name of each Tribe was inscribed on a piece of parchment and placed in a pile and the various portions of the land were written on other pieces of parchment and placed in a separate pile. 

How was it actually done?

By lottery. 

Joshua would take one from each pile and read out the results. 

Seems very straightforward. 

Rashi, the super commentator on the Torah, gives us a deeper insight. 

The words in the verse that explain the process are in Hebrew “Al pi hagoral” which literally means, done via lottery. 

But Rashi notes the Hebrew word “PI”  which means “the mouth of”. That would indicate that the selection was done through “the mouth” of the lottery. 

Rashi teaches us that something miraculous happened in this process. 

There were actually 3 steps. 

First, as written above, a standard lottery. 

Our Sages explain the deeper level of the lottery actually speaking. 

The second step was that the High Priest stood next to Joshua and through the medium of the breastplate he wore, there would be another communication confirming the results of the lottery. 

The breastplate had 12 stones each representing one of the Tribes and had engraved the letters which encompassed all the letters of the alphabet. As Joshua was about to choose the pieces of parchment, the letters on the breastplate would light up High Priest was able to see with prophecy what names and places would be picked. He would announce it just before Joshua picked the pieces, and they correlated every time. 

And further, from the mouth of the lottery, the lottery itself spoke aloud the names of the Tribes and the corresponding portions they would receive. 

This process was laden with miracles. 

Gd prefers to work through nature, why were there so many miracles afoot in this process?

Any parent knows the answer, and you don’t need to have read Harry Potter. 

So there would be no arguments. 

After such a level of open miracles, nobody would have the temerity to question the outcome. 

No one would say “my portion should be larger, greener, safer” etc!

It had clearly been ordained by Gd and it removed all arguments between the people of Israel. 

My Waze is speaking to me…in Hebrew!

Since I returned from a recent trip to Israel, I have been receiving my driving directions in Hebrew. I haven’t changed it back yet. It is comforting to me to be told how to take the next steps in my journey in the language of my People. 

This week, some of my Israeli family took a journey of their own. They organized a “roots” trip to Holland to follow the trek their parents took which put them at the mercy of the Nazis during WWII. 

It all began with my grandfather. He and his family lived in Munich, Germany.

In 1933 Dachau, was opened. Jews who had been interrogated and murdered were sent back to the Jewish community in Munich in sealed coffins. My grandfather who participated in the ritual Jewish burial society, opened the coffins to prepare the bodies and was horrified by the signs of torture he saw. He journeyed to Vienna to take counsel from a Hasidic Rabbi with whom he was acquainted. The Rabbi told my grandfather that terrible things would be happening in Germany and said he should travel immediately to Palestine, as Israel was then known, and send for the family from there. My grandfather heeded this advice and so my Father and his siblings moved to Palestine. 

Shortly after their arrival, my aunt Mali, married a rabbi and the two of them were sent in 1935 to  Holland to run an educational center which prepared young people to make Aliya, to move to Palestine. They lived in a village called Enschede. The first three of their nine children were born there and they successfully taught and supported the young people in their care. 

Then the Nazis invaded. 

In 1940, my Uncle was arrested. Because he had British papers, he was taken to a POW camp. My Aunt did the unthinkable and tried to get her husband released by the Nazis. She related that the Nazi governor did not think she was Jewish because she went to the “lions den”. She would always say it was the chutzpah that she brought with her from the Land of Israel that gave her strength. For the next two years she was responsible for the students and her children. 

Due to her quick wits and impeccable German, she managed to disperse the students safely. She encountered Nazi patrols and was able to talk her way out of many precarious situations. 

She was called to the Gestapo headquarters twice, a place from which Jews did not escape, yet she managed to get away both times. 

Finally the Nazis caught up with her and she and her three young boys, all under the age of 5, were taken to Westerbork. This camp

was a staging ground for the deportation of Jews to other concentration camps for extermination. The vast majority were sent to Auschwitz. 

Almost all of the 95,000 people sent to the extermination camps were killed upon arrival. 

It was a one way journey. It was a trek with a diabolical destination. 

But, a great miracle occurred. 

Due to the fact that my brave and feisty Aunt held a passport from Palestine, and therefore she had British papers. 

These documents proved to be lifesaving. 

The German Templer Society was a Christian group whose philosophy included the imminent arrival of their Savior in Jerusalem. The Society established a number of German Templar colonies in Palestine. The members of this groups were interned by the British and in an exchange deal brokered by the governments of Germany and Great Britain, Templars were traded for British citizens who were incarcerated by the Nazi regime. 

Similar to the Schindler list, there is a typed list of exchanged prisoners released in 1942 during the height of the Nazi killing machine. 

Numbers 8,9,10 and 11 are the names of my Aunt Mali and her three boys. 

The miracles are too numerous to count. 

What’s a matchmaker?

If you watched Fiddler on the Roof, Yenta the matchmaker was the meddling woman who knows all the town gossip and introduces people to prospective mates. 

Nowadays, the role has had an extreme makeover. 

Aleeza Ben Shalom helps people find their matches and in the process shares great relationship advice and Jewish wisdom. 

If this piques your interest, make sure to mark your calendar for December 3, 2023, when JWCATLANTA will host Aleeza in a fabulous evening. 

Details about the evening to follow. 

Finding the perfect match was on my mind this week. 

Maybe it was due to the fact that I participated in a planning meeting for the aforementioned event with a dynamic committee who is organizing an amazing event. 

Or perhaps it was because I attended a wedding this week of two young people who grew up on my block, on the same street. 

They did not know one another, until they were introduced by a matchmaker who extolled the virtues of one to the other and it ended with a perfect match. 

Sometimes the match made in heaven is right under your very nose. 

So I had matches on my mind. 

Matches can bring people together in joyful matrimony, but matches can also cause s conflagration which can bring about destruction. 

What is our role in our match?

How does one define the “match made in heaven”?

What does one look for in a prospective mate?

A soulmate is someone who completes the other, and helps bring out the best in their partner in life. 

This week’s Torah portion gives us a peek into the power of having the right mate, and the repercussions that result from the positive, or conversely the negative attitudes of a spouse. 

“Chefetz Chashud “

That is how one says 

“Suspicious Object”

In Hebrew. 

Everyone in Israel is very aware of suspicious objects, because the lack of awareness can lead to horrific consequences. 

Many moons ago I studied in Israel. 

My roommate in the dormitory was an American girl who had been injured in a terrorist attack a few years prior. 

She was on a bus, and no one noticed the “Chefetz Chashud” that had been left under her seat. When the bomb exploded, the hard plastic seat protected her and the subsequent burns she suffered, healed with time. 

But you can imagine how she reacted whenever she heard the words “Chefetz Chashud”. 

In case you might think these words may have fallen into disuse, let me disabuse you of that notion. 

Just yesterday, I left my Mother’s Jerusalem apartment to do an errand for her. As I left the building I noticed an unusually heavy police presence. As I tried to get to my destination ahead, I was stopped by the police and told to turn back. 

I called the shopkeeper I was headed to as the police van was  parked right outside his door. He said, it’s “just” a Chefetz Chashud. He calmly told me the police will take care of it and I should be able to come back in a few minutes to complete my transaction. To quote him,

“We have to be careful, but life must go on. “

Today I went to the Kotel, the Wailing Wall. It is the last remnant of the Temple that stood thousands of years ago in Jerusalem, until it’s destruction on the 9th of Av. 

In the Kotel plaza I witnessed a very moving ceremony. 

Hundreds of young men and women were being inducted into army service. I was so deeply touched to witness these young people preparing themselves to serve our people. 

This is a country of people who will do whatever it takes to live and thrive in the Land of Israel. 

When I was newly married I had the honor of living next door to a truly elevated couple. I loved listening to them speak to one another, it was a lesson in love, respect and understanding to hear them converse.

One time I was in their home and they had a “fight”. 

It was Chanukah and the husband had lit his beautiful Menorah. After the Menorah lights extinguished, an itinerant person collecting funds appeared at their door. He was welcomed in with kindness and respect (definitely the mantra of that household) and given some charity and the offer of food. It became apparent that the gentleman had not yet had the opportunity to light the Menora, so the lady of the house took out a spare, small Menora for him to kindle. 

Later that evening her husband came home. When he saw the small Menora alit he questioned the circumstances and heard the whole story. When his wife finished the tale, he said in the kindest of tones that he was a bit disappointed. He wished she would have given the man collecting funds the use of his personal and beautiful Menora. He was concerned that the man would be embarrassed by the spare and obviously less expensive version. His distress at causing discomfort to a stranger was palpable, yet he managed to convey that distress in the gentlest and kindest way, leaving behind not hurt feelings but rather an elevated perspective. 

His distress stemmed from a missed opportunity to do more. 

This week we learn about the commandment that was given to Aaron the High Priest regarding the lighting of the Menora in the Tabernacle. 

This week’s Torah portion is titled Behaalotcha which means when you go up. 

The verse explains that Aaron was told when when you go up, when you elevate, light the Menora…

The Sages comment on the unusual word used to indicate the Menora should be kindled. 

When we talk about Shabbat candles or Chanukah candles we talk about lighting or kindling them, not elevating them, why is the word elevating used in this instance?

The Menorah is symbolic of Torah. Studying Torah is not just a scholastic endeavor like any other discipline. 

The study of Torah is meant to be transformative and elevating, when we light the “Menora” in our lives, when we study Torah, it is meant to point us to realize our purpose in life. 

That is why the Torah used the word elevating instead of kindling. 

As I may have mentioned, we recently attended our granddaughter’s Bat Mitzva. 

She was one of the last girls in her class to celebrate. I was wondering how they would mark the occasion. 

When one has a child in the Mitzva circuit it can be quite stressful, especially if your child is one of the last in the class. One has to grapple with how to do something different, how to make the event stand out. 

This conundrum may create a great deal of pressure on the celebrants. 

This week’s Torah portion is called Nasso, and it discusses the inauguration of the Tabernacle, the portable Sanctuary that was the place that the Jewish people did their service and connected to Gd. 

A part of the inaugural ceremony was the bringing of offerings to Gd by the Princes of each of the Twelve Tribes. 

The offering was extensive and it took 6 verses to describe what each Prince was bringing. 

In our studies, we have hammered home the point that every word in the Torah is critical and mindfully placed. When we peruse a verse, if we notice a superfluous word or letter, a misplaced tense or gender, we immediately stand at attention. 

These inconsistencies are flags to us that their are messages to be found and we must begin to investigate. 

So an extra letter would catch our attention, right?

Going back to our Bnai Mitzva, if anyone has this week’s Torah portion, you must be empathetic. 

Because this is the longest Torah portion of them all, clocking in at 176 verses. 

What is really curious is that 72 of the verses say exactly the same thing. 

There is 6 verse section describing the offering of the Prince, and it is repeated verbatim 12 times with only the name of the Prince changing. 

If one word would attract our attention, this is a veritable waving of a red flag begging a question!

Don’t worry. 

You didn’t lose a day. It’s not Thursday night yet. 

I am reaching out a day early as Thursday evening we will begin celebrating the holiday of Shavuot, the commemoration of receiving the Torah on Mt Sinai. 

There are no specific mitzvot connected to the upcoming holiday (although there are many customs including eating delicious dairy foods and adorning our synagogues and homes with flowers and greenery to remind us that Mt Sinai bloomed with vegetation prior to the giving of the Torah and since we did not understand the dietary laws that had just been established, we ate dairy). There are no Mitzvot because we want to focus on the Torah itself. Therefore there is a custom to stay up all night studying Torah and of course you can combine that with eating delicious cheese cake…

On the second day of the holiday we read the Book of Ruth. 

It too has no specific laws and rules. Instead it is a treatise of loving kindness. 

Ruth was a princess. She was the daughter of the King of Moab, and she married into a Jewish family who had run away from their home and responsibilities in the Land of Israel and moved to Moab. 

Ten years later, after a series of calamities, the Jewish family was decimated. Only the matriarch, Naomi, and her two daughters in law were left. One daughter in law was named Ruth. The other daughter in law was Ruth’s sister Orpah. Naomi realized there was no future for her in the land of Moab and she decided to return to her home in the Land of Israel. 

Her two daughters in law were desperate to accompany Naomi on her arduous journey home. 

This is a testimony to the deeply loving and caring relationship Naomi had created with her daughters in law. 

(Or in the words of a beloved friend and mentor, daughters in love!)

Despite the fact that they were royalty, these young women were willing to give up their fame and fortune to follow the destitute Naomi. 

Naomi fought them long and hard. 

Finally, Orpah capitulated. She decided to turn her back on Naomi and go back to her previous life. 

Ruth did not relent. 

She clung fiercely to Naomi and insisted on continuing the journey with her. 

Our Sages teach us that each of these women made a specific choice which had a significant impact on their future. 

Orpah chose not to accept the invitation to meet her higher self and returned home to a life of degradation and dissolution. She ultimately gave birth to a child of great physical stature, the famous Goliath who fought and cursed the Jewish people.