When I was growing up my Mom did not watch much television. The only exceptions that come to mind were when man landed on the moon and Lady Diana got married. 

Nowadays she does watch a bit, mostly British programs. 

When I last visited we watched Downton Abbey together. 

There is a scene where a housemaid who worked for the upper class family for two years comes back after a long absence. In the interim she has had the opportunity to better herself and now comes as the patron of an organization which helps young women who wish to have a chance for education. 

The family doesn’t recognize their former maid until the butler (it’s always the butler) reveals her secret. When they become aware she had worked for them for two years, the family was somewhat mortified. 

They were embarrassed that she had been in their service but they never really looked at her. 

She was invisible. 

When we go to the theater, we see the cast and recognize their contributions, but do we ever take a moment to realize that without the people behind the scenes, the show would not go on. 

Sometimes it’s the people we do not see, or pay attention to, who make all the difference. 

We need to see those who may appear to be invisible. 

This week’s Torah portion is called VaYetzei, which means he went out. 

It is the continuation of the story of our Patriarch Jacob who must run away from home in order to escape the murderous intentions of his vengeful brother Esau. 

Jacob’s story is a story of exile. But if we look deeper, there is a great deal of inspiration embedded in the story which can direct us in times of challenge. 

Jacob begins his journey and dreams a dream. He sees angels ascending and descending a ladder and he understands that Gd is sending angels to watch over him in his journey. That comforts him as he leaves his home. 

Jacob arrives in the city of Charan, the dwelling place of his mother’s family. He is hoping to find a bride from amongst his relatives. 

Jacob arrives at the well, the local gathering place, and is surprised to see the local shepherds lounging about. When he questions their work ethic, they point to the well which is stopped up by a large boulder. They have to wait till all the shepherds gather in order to use their collective strength to move the rock. 

All of a sudden Rachel, a cousin of Jacob’s,approaches to water her flock. When Jacob sees her, he effortlessly lifts of the huge boulder by himself. 

We can suggest that his love for Rachel overcame his limitations, it is as if gravity lost its meaning when he thought of her. 

There are people who can clip our wings, there are people who give us the wings to soar. 

When Jacob recognized his eternal partner, he was given the opportunity to express his strength and potential. 

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger shares another understanding of the story of the boulder and the well.  

The well represents the wellspring of talents and gifts we all have. However, many people, even the most talented, fail because of a “boulder”, something blocking access to one’s potential and talents. In their conversation with Jacob, the shepherds utter the phrase, “we can’t do it”.  It’s impossible! 

That is what is holding them back. 

We, like the shepherds, are often deterred by the  “we can’t do it” attitude. 

Jacob, on the other hand, believed in the opportunity to overcome challenges and succeed despite the obstacles in his path. 

Everyone has a dream to accomplish something big in life, but the “I can’t do it” boulder is preventing the dream from becoming a reality. 

Jacob faced many challenges, but he forged ahead with an “I Can” philosophy, looking at the boulder in a different way. 

This week’s Torah portion is called Toldot, which means offspring. 

It is the portion which chronicles the life of our patriarch and matriarch, Isaac and Rebecca. 

Rebecca gives birth to twins, Jacob and Esau and the narrative describes the personalities of these twins and the  life path they each choose to follow. 

This past week was one of great tragedy in Israel. 

A young teenager, on his way to school, was senselessly murdered. As I read what was written about this young man, I saw in him, a parallel to our patriarch Jacob. 

The verses describe Jacob as an “ish tam” a wholesome person, “a dweller in tents”. 

The word “tam” is translated sometimes as perfect, but perhaps integrity and completeness are better translations. 

The Maharal, 16th century Torah giant,  teaches that the character trait of being a “tam” is a primary goal in character development. 

Rabbi Judah Mischel expounds on this idea of striving towards sincerity. He explains that the common definition of “tam” being perfection is the opposite of character development and spiritual growth. 

“Gd does not expect perfection from us, the entire system of repentance and the possibility of forgiveness is based on inevitable sins and mistakes.”

Jacob was called a person of wholeness and sincerity as his innermost thoughts and his words were integrated and connected. He saw the world with wonder,  innocence and completeness. 

When my children were in kindergarten they had an amazing teacher, the inimitable Morah Dena. 

She wrote a sweet ditty which we still sing to this day. 

“Sara’s Ohel (tent) as special as can be, clouds of Hashem (Gd) on top you can see. 

Candles lit from week to week

Challah so fresh it can’t be beat 

Sarah Imeinu (our matriarch) we miss you so

Rivka Imeinu will make your Ohel glow. 

Let’s delve into the deeper message of this seemingly simple song. 

This week’s Torah portion is Chayei Sara, which means the life of Sara. Yet the portion seems to focus on the details pursuing the death of Sara as Abraham deals with purchasing a burial plot for her. 

The portion then continues with the saga of finding a wife for Isaac, Abraham’s son which is concluded successfully with the marriage to Rebecca.  The  Torah relates that Isaac was comforted from the loss of his mother when he married Rebecca. 

Rashi the preeminent Torah commentary explains that there were three qualities that were unique to Sara’s tent which disappeared with her death. However, when Rebecca married Isaac, the three signs returned. This was a source of comfort to Isaac. 

What were those signs?

This week we will read the Torah portion of Vayera, which means He appeared. 

It refers to the fact that Abraham, our forefather, had recently undergone a Brit Mila, a circumcision, and while he was recovering, Gd appeared to him. 

Yet, immediately after this interaction with the Divine, Abraham lifts his eyes and sees three people approaching and in what would seem to be an inexplicably misguided set of priorities, Abraham turns his attention from Gd and rushes to attend to the  needs of these dusty, tired and hungry travelers. 

From this behavior our Sages learn the dictum

“ the deed of hospitality is greater than the welcoming of the Divine Presence. “

“Practical good deeds take precedence over any abstract spiritual enjoyment.” Nechama Leibowitz 

If we look at the verses that follow, we are regaled with details of the hospitality that ensued, and all the narrative is accompanied by one verb - haste. 

Abraham rushes to take care of his guests, leaving us, his future descendants, with a clear mission statement regarding the importance of hospitality. 

Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Horowitz accents four practical lessons we can glean from the Torah portion. 

1. Abraham waits outside his home, he proactively searches for ways to help others, he does not wait for someone to knock on the door. 
2. Abraham was a wealthy man, with a staff at his disposal. But when it came to taking care of the guests, the narrative clearly writes that he and Sarah took care of the visitors themselves.
3. Abraham did not interrogate his guests. He did not feel that since he had cared for them, they “owed” him with the answers to intrusive questions. He maintained their dignity in the face of their vulnerability. 
4. These special guests will end their stay by telling their hosts that they will be miraculously blessed with a child. 

This, says Rabbi Horowitz, is the most profound message of hospitality, or hachnassat orchim in Hebrew. 

In the case of any kindness that we do, we end up receiving far more than we give. 

What a night. 

We just finished JWCATLANTA’s Challah Bake with a Twist. 

Under the able leadership of Elana Yoels and Jessica Dickson, almost 300 women learned to braid and flavor premade challah dough, and participated in a candle decorating project, while enjoying the company of friends old and new over a glass of wine. 

It was a celebration of Shabbat. 

We talked about the power of the Shabbat candles and how they are emblematic of creating connection. Just as one who wants to create a special ambience or connection with another would create a beautiful dinner with wine and candlelight, so too do we begin Shabbat. 

It is the woman who lights the Shabbat candles as women are typically the ultimate connectors. 

In this week’s Torah portion we meet another influencer. 

It is the Torah portion of Noah, and the story of the destruction  of the world by a flood and the survival of Noah in his family in the Ark. 

Five times in the portion it mentions Noah’s wife, but her actual name does not appear. It is  the Midrash that reveals her name, Naamah, which means pleasant, as her deeds were pleasant. 

One of the commentaries ask, why are we not told her name in the text, why is she continuously dubbed The Wife?

The explanation given is that in those dreadful days leading up to the Flood, the sanctity of marriage was corrupted. While men in those days were allowed more than one wife, they began the despicable practice of having one wife for childbirth, and another wife reserved for pleasure. The harmony and balance of the marital relationship which incorporates all aspects of interaction, was distorted. 

In the case of Noah and Naama she is given rhe appellation of The Wife, because they did not fall prey to this sick version of a marriage, but instead had a wholesome partnership. 

In this case, being called The Wife, was praise indeed. 

The JWC Atlanta/Federation Chanukah event will be on Wednesday, December 14th at 7:30pm at Roswell River Landing.  More details may be found here.

Please follow the link below to the application to be considered as a vendor for the 2022 JWC Atlanta/Federation Chanukah event! 

After your application has been received, you will be contacted by a member of our committee with further details.  Thank you for your support!

There is no cost for a table, however, we ask all vendors to donate 10% of their sales for the evening to JWC Atlanta, thank you!

Link to application: https://forms.gle/PWsjbgaFqVL5fN3Q9

Our kids are coming home! They are coming from the four corners of the earth ( ok I’m exaggerating, but none of them live in Atlanta). 

The ingathering is quite a miracle really. 

As exciting as it is there is always the prayer that everyone will get along. 

When children come home they sometimes revert to should we call them, old patterns?

What’s the occasion you may ask?

They are returning home to celebrate the upcoming holiday of Sukkot. 

There are many rituals that are associated with the holiday, like eating meals in a Sukka, which is a flimsy type of hut reminiscent of the structures the Jewish people lived in during their trek through the desert. Sitting in the Sukka is a lovely experience. We leave our sturdy homes (unless we live in the path of Ian) and move into a temporary structure. This makes us pause as we take a moment to recognize the blessings in our lives as we focus on the gifts we have been given. Much of the familiar and material is put aside and we feel grateful for the gifts of our existence. It’s a time to enjoy wonderful meals with family and friends in a setting open to nature, under the stars. 

Think Pizza in the Hut. 

Another practice of Sukkot is the taking of the Four Species, the Lulav, a palm frond, an Etrog a citron, Hadassim myrtle branches and Aravot- willows. The four are held together as part of the rituals of Sukkot. Each of the species represent a different type of person. The Lulav represents one blessed with Torah wisdom, the Etrog intuits a person who is blessed with Torah and good deeds, the Hadassim reflects a person with exhibits good deeds and the Aravot is symbolic of a person who has neither good deeds nor wisdom. 

The powerful message of the taking of the Four Species is that the mitzva requires taking all four together. If one is missing, the mitzva is incomplete. This indicates that the Jewish people is only complete when we all join together and support one another. We all need each other and we all complete each other.

The Jewish people can only have a relationship with the Divine if we can all accept and embrace one another, despite any lacking or differences. 

Carrying around the Four Species creates quite the visual. 

Even the TSA had to be briefed on the unusual flora, and they have codified in their regulations that travelers may take the Species on the plane and they are not any type of weaponry no matter the fact that the Lulav may look somewhat intimidating. 

A few days ago I was about to walk into a store in my neighborhood and I saw a dear friend. We exchanged warm hellos and then I was about to continue into the store when she said she wanted to talk to me about something. 

She then proceeded to tell me that I had thoughtlessly done something very hurtful to her. She then explained in detail what had happened. 

After she finished I was in a state of shock. 

So many thoughts tumbled through my mind. 

My first reaction was to be defensive, how could she think I would do such a thing?

I thought of many ways to explain it all away. 

Then I took a deep breath and a huge gulp, and I simply apologized. I explained that I had never intended to hurt her. 

I listened carefully as she explained her position and I understood where I had indeed erred. 

Then, I took the opportunity to thank her from the bottom of my heart for being willing to be so open, vulnerable and brave with me so that I could repair a fissure that I had created. 

In these days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we have the chance to make amends. 

It is a time for reconciliation between ourselves and the people in our orbit, and between ourselves and Gd. 

But reconciling often requires making an apology for committing a wrong. 

But apologizing (unlike Breaking Up) is hard to do. 

Why is it so hard?

It is with a very heart that I take pen to paper. 

The Atlanta Jewish community is reeling over the loss of a young person whose life was tragically cut short. 

Everyone is grappling with the pain, worrying about the family and trying to make sense of the horrific event. 

There are no easy answers. 

We know life is finite. 

But life should be long, and should end in old age. 

Here the end came so very, very prematurely. 

It is hard to imagine where to find a source to withstand such pain. 

In this week’s Torah portion 

the Jewish people stood before Moses, on the last day of his life. 

It is recorded in the Torah that they were standing before him on that day:

Atem Nitzavim HaYom

You are standing Today. 

(This week’s Torah portion is called Nitzavim, standing)

We are acutely aware of Today. There are no guarantees of tomorrow.  

We have to use the time allotted to us with care and thought because none of us know for certain that there is another day to come. 

Today I saw a sight that filled me with pity. 

As the event unfolded before my eyes I could feel the feeling of loss, frustration and deep sense of regret in the protagonist. 

The feeling of a missed opportunity was hanging heavy and I could relate completely. 

Let me elaborate. 

I was driving down the road and I noticed a woman, standing in the middle of the street. 

She stood, alone, shoulders slumped in defeat, a full garbage bag in her hand with the specter of the garbage truck beating a hasty exit before her. 

I could feel her pain. 

If only she had been there a minute before!

What a lost opportunity. 

This is a very timely allegory. 

We are poised to enter the High Holiday season and we have in hand a heavy load. 

Perhaps missed opportunities to say kind words. 

Perhaps unkind words we let escape from our lips. 

Perhaps we misjudged someone without giving the benefit of the doubt. 

But we are so fortunate. 

We are not watching the garbage truck speed off into the horizon. 

We can still hop aboard a vehicle of self awareness. 

We have the opportunity to show up and move forward. 

Today the Queen of England passed away. 

I grew up going to London every summer of my childhood to visit my grandparents. 

My mother and her parents moved to England when they were able to escape Germany on the eve of World War II. They always lived with a deep sense of gratitude to the British for taking them in and saving them from Hitler. 

When I spoke to my Mother today she was very saddened by the passing of the Queen. She spoke of the sense of duty the Queen personified. She recalled how during the war when London was being bombed, the Royal family did not run away or abrogate their responsibility, but instead remained with their subjects, casting their lot together with their people, soldiering on together. 

Famously known for saying her life would be devoted to service, the Queen lived a life of dignity and duty from her youth until her dying day.

This weeks Torah portion is call Ki Tetze, which means when you go out to war. 

This Portion is unique in that it has the most commandments of any portion in the Torah, 70 in all. 

One of our sons teaches high school in Chicago. Last year I met the mother of one his students. She told me that her son loves having my son as his Rebbe, Judaics teacher and said that he is the goat. 

Now apparently I am not good at masking my emotions. I have been told more than once not to play poker. So it seems my face must have betrayed my horror that this mom thought it was fine for her son to call his teacher a goat. I must have looked somewhat aghast as she added insult to injury by repeating his comments. 

She then asked me if I knew what goat meant. 

I replied that perhaps I might be missing some important information. 

It turns out that GOAT is a well know (who knew) acronym for

Greatest Of All Time. 

That was a learning moment for me. 

First of all I realized that I was very quick to judge in this instance. And secondly, I realized that I should’ve communicated my confusion as opposed to jumping to my own conclusions, not giving the Mom, and her son the benefit of the doubt. 

As we traverse the month of Elul there are many lessons we can learn to make this time more meaningful. 

The word Elul is in itself an acronym. The Hebrew letters Alef, Lamed, Vav,Lamed

are an acronym for Ani LDodi VDodi Li which means I am for my beloved as my beloved is for me. 

During these weeks leading up to Rosh Hashana it  is a commentary on the relationship we are trying to build with Gd. We are trying to create connection and meaning. 

How are we to accomplish that connection?

Another acronym which can be derived from the Hebrew letters which comprise the word Elul is Ish Lrayahu VMatanot Levyonim. 

This is a snippet of a verse in the scroll of Esther which we read on Purim.  The verse tells us to celebrate the day with connection to one another and by giving charity to the poor. 

So it seems that Elul is the month of connection and one of the ways to connect to Gd is by taking care of Gd’s children. This is achieved by getting along with one another, being charitable to each other either literally with financial support or with emotional support by speaking kindly and giving the benefit of the doubt. 

The Torah portions in the weeks leading up to Rosh Hashana all have messages that are timely. 

Our portion is called Shoftim, which means Judges. Moses teaches the Jewish people that when they arrive in the Land of Israel, it will be incumbent upon them to seat judges and create a police force. 

There is a story told about Yossele the Miser who lived in Krakow, Poland. 

Yossele,  or perhaps he might be colloquially known as Joe, was a mean of great means. He lived in a palatial abode, surrounded by luxury. The local charity collectors appealed to him regularly for donations, but Joe was consistent in his response. 

It was always a flat out No. 

The most heart wrenching stories wouldn’t move Joe. 

He held on to his fortune with hands clasped shut. 

Time passed on, and even Joe could not outwit old age. He slowly succumbed to illness. 

The leaders of the community visited Joe on his deathbed and gave him an ultimatum.

Either he would share his wealth with the indigent paupers who desperately needed support, or he would receive a simple burial, no pomp and circumstance as befitting his station, rather just a grave in the least prominent part of the cemetery. 

Even in his weakened state, Joe, or Yossele remained intractable. 

No charity. 

The day dawned and Yossele returned his soul to his Maker. 

He received the most perfunctory of funerals, as the community leaders laid him to rest in disgust. 

Then something unusual started happening. 

The leaders of the community were deluged with requests for charity. People who had never asked for money before, came with desperate requests for assistance. 

The community leaders were befuddled.

What had created such an economic crisis?

The leadership started interviewing the supplicants to find out what had happened. 

It seems that all these individuals would receive a weekly envelope filled with money which contained enough  to supply their needs. 

This week, for the first time in decades, they had not received an envelope and they were now desperately in need. 

It did not take long for the communal leadership to realize they had made an egregious error. 

Yossele the Miser had secretly been sustaining almost the entire town for almost half a century. 

He had done it quietly, wanting to preserve the dignity of the recipients, and was willing to accept censure and ridicule to keep their secret safe. 

Yossele the Miser kept the 479th of the 613 commandments. 

To give charity. 

When I was a little girl I had a fear. 

When my parents went out in the evening, I was afraid they wouldn’t come home. 

I can’t explain the root of this paranoia, perhaps it’s a symptom of second generation post Holocaust trauma. 

But it was very real. 

I would stand by the window and cry bitterly. 

Only when I would hear the footsteps of my parents in the hallway outside of my apartment could I finally calm down. 

The quiet footfalls consoled me. 

Then I could come to myself. 

This week’s Torah portion is called Eikev which means heel. 

You may recall that root of Eikev in the name of our forefather Yaakov or Jacob, who was named so because he held onto the heel of his brother Esau as he was born. 

We also find the root word Eikev when we refer to the pre-messianic time, called in the ancient Aramaic language, 

Ikvesa DMeshica, the footsteps of the Messiah.  

The Torah portion begins with an exhortation to listen, to the do the commandments to preserve the connection with Gd. 

But why use the esoteric word Eikev in our portion? 

It is actually superfluous. 

Why not just say “listen”?

Rashi, the main Torah commentary, focuses on the word Eikev, heel, and understands it allegorically. 

What should we be listening for, paying attention to in order to preserve our connection with Gd?

We should focus on all manners of connection, even the small, seemingly insignificant mitzvot that we may feel are insignificant so we figuratively step on them with our heel. 

We may perceive a mitzva as lacking import  and we walk all over it, so to speak. By doing so, we lose a possibility of a deeper connection, one which will ensure the covenant is kept between Gd and the Jewish people, and ultimately bring us to the end of days, the Messianic times. 

In life, we tend to focus on the big stuff and may overlook the small things. 

But this is a mistake. 

Have you ever experienced an HP moment?

HP stands for Hashgacha Pratit, in English,  Divine Providence. 

As Yitta Halberstam, author of the Small Miracles series says

“coincidence is a tap on the shoulder from Gd”. 

Nothing in life is a coincidence. 

Everything happens for a reason. 

My husband is a wandering Rabbi. 

One of his favorite duties is teaching in some of Atlanta’s finest high schools, during their lunch break. 

Rabbi Silverman goes to a number of schools and brings pizza and conversation on Jewish topics to high school students. 

A number of years ago, the president of the club in one of the schools brought in an article. The young lady, who was the president of the club, proudly showed my husband an article featuring her great grandfather, Rabbi Jerome Tolochko. 

The name rang a bell with my husband and after conferring with his father, ob’m, it turned out that my husband’s great grandmother was a Tolochko. 

We had found long lost relatives!

At the end of the senior year, we were invited to her graduation party. 

We arrived a bit early, and were given the grand tour of the home and all the Jewish artifacts within. 

My husband spotted some old books encased in a bright red box. The books had Hebrew writing on the outside. Our new relative explained she had no idea what the books were all about. She had selected them from her grandfather’s collection of books because she liked the bright red box, it caught her eye. 

After inquiring, my husband was given permission to peruse the books and was astonished to find novellae, original writing, on all six Tractates of the Talmud, the Oral Torah. 

With the gracious permission of our newly found cousins, my husband embarked on an investigative mission to discover who wrote these works and what they actually contained. 

The manuscript was written in a copperplate Hebrew script and difficult to decipher. Eventually it was sent to Israel, and a scholar worked on the manuscript for over a year. 

It turns out that this work was composed in Grodno, which is in Belarus, in the 1840s. 

It has approbations from world class Torah scholars of the time, whose rare signatures are included within. 

This rare and illuminating manuscript, written by my husband’s great, great uncle, was printed this week, the Torah within available now for study for scholars and laymen alike. 

The author writes in the document that he hopes his work will be printed and brought to light so that future generations will be able to study his elucidations on the Torah.