This past week saw the two extremes we the Jewish people exemplify. We commemorated Israel’s Remembrance Day which was immediately followed by Israel’s Independence Day. The first day honors all who fell in service of our country. It is a sad and tragic day. One of my cousins by marriage shared the loss of of so many family members. His family has paid a steep price. That day segues into a joyous celebration of mammoth proportions. The same cousin spends his time selling properties in the land of Israel. He is passionate about the connection to the country of Israel and helping people find a happy home in the land his family sacrificed for. 

How is it possible to hold space for such extreme emotions?

We have sacrificed deeply for our values and for our country and while the pain is raw, we need to focus on life and the joy and hope it brings. 

Otherwise we would be lost. 

We would never emerge from the Crusades or the Holocaust. And we would not be able to build a future. 

This week we again have two Torah portions, Achrei Mot (After the death) and Kedoshim (the holy ones). 

The first portion refers to the death of two sons of Aaron the High Priest. After their tragic passing Moses is instructed by Gd to speak to Aaron and help him return to life by stepping into his role. 

It is a parallel to this past week’s events as Aaron must make the transition from mourning to becoming the spiritual leader who will bring his people to atonement and life. 

The second portion refers to that life, a life lived properly, a life of holiness. 

If asked to define holiness, we might think it is exemplified by intense prayer, self denial, ascetism, maybe even self flagellation. 

But our portion, gives a totally different explanation of how one becomes holy. 

In fact there are no less than 51 commandments or mitzvot contained there in and the focus is completely on kindness to another. 

We are enjoined to honor our parents, not to steal, not to lie, not to speak ill of others. We are instructed to pay workers in a timely fashion and not to take revenge. It is a cornucopia of mitzvot that teach us how to treat people properly. 

This is how we can become holy. 

Another mitzva  listed is to judge another person favorably. This sounds like a very easy one to accomplish. 

But maybe not so. 

Rabbi Meilech Biderman who is an inspirational speaker in Israel, shared the following story. 

A man went to a wedding and was seated at a table with other guests. He recognized a former classmate who he had not seen in over 40 years. As the wedding went on, the man noticed that his old friend did not acknowledge him at all. He spoke enthusiastically to the people on either side of him and engaged with other men at the table and around him. As the evening wore on, our protagonist began to feel quite hurt. He couldn’t understand why the man wouldn’t acknowledge him or talk to him. As the evening wore on he became more and more agitated. He couldn’t imagine what he might have done to deserve such a lack of respect. As he was about to leave, he leaned over and whispered in the man’s ear and asked him what he had done to be ignored and treated so badly. The man listened carefully and reached into his pocket. He removed an ID card that identified him as legally blind. Apparently since they had “seen” one another last, the gentleman had lost his sight. He said that at the table he interacted with the people whose voice he recognized, but since this man never said a word, he had no idea that he was even there. 

You can’t make this up. 

But that’s the point. 

To judge someone favorably you have to think of any far fetched conclusion that can explain the situation. 

Even if it makes no sense. 

We are taught that we need to judge someone favorably. 

In Hebrew that is is translated to be “Dan lKaf Zchut”. 

The word Kaf can also be translated as “spoon”. 

That is a strange word to use in that equation. 

Our Sages say that we use the metaphor of the spoon because when we are serving ourselves stew from a pot, we use the spoon to dig deep and uncover the meat and delicacies that may be hidden in the bottom of the pot. So too when we are in a situation that seems to paint another in a negative light, we have to dig deep into our imagination to find a good explanation for the situation at hand.

We may often be surprised that our unlikely flight of fancy is actually the truth. 

Being holy is in our grasp. 

We may be handed a challenging combination of challenge and joy, we may interact with people who seem the farthest from righteous but we can make the jump from tragedy to joy,  which also may be an irrational choice. 

But if we dig deep in either situation, we will reveal much more than meets the eye. 

That will bring us more joy than we can imagine.

Shabbat Shalom and so much love.