When we travel to Israel we have had the immense privilege of meeting some of the young men and women in uniform. So many comment on how young the soldiers are and there is a frequent desire to give them gifts and food, as we see them as our own kids. We salute these soldiers for their discipline and dedication!

It has been an intensely emotional week in Israel with the commemoration of Memorial Day which remembers the fallen soldiers and victims of terror, followed by Independence Day. 

So many have given up their lives for our country. It is hard to connect to the the overwhelming loss. 

Perhaps by focusing on the story of one woman, one mother, we can have a glimpse of the magnitude of the pain - but we can also be inspired by her courage and her wisdom. 

Miriam Peretz is a loving mother and grandmother. She makes delicious food for her family and is a doting and joyous matriarch. 

Miriam Peretz has also paid the ultimate price for the privilege of living in Israel. She has tragically lost two sons in battle. Miriam lost her son Uriel in 1998 in Lebanon, and in 2010, her son Eliraz, father of four children, was killed in a battle with terrorists. 

Each time Miriam goes to Mt. Hertzl to visit the graves of her sons she is faced with the same dilemma - which grave to visit first? And as she so poignantly describes, the divide between those two graves is like the splitting of the sea and she is drowning in the middle. 

But Miriam is a woman of great courage. She finds strength from her own children’s legacy. In one  of Uriel’s pockets she found a slip of paper with a quote from Rabbi Kook, one of the founders of religious Zionism, which states ״as our repentance becomes more profound so does our fear of death recede”.  As we clarify what we are here to accomplish we know when the job is done we can move on without fear. 

Her other son Eliraz would come home from his army service and go immediately to the study hall to delve into Torah which is from where he said he derived his strength. 

Miriam says she has paid the ultimate price but she still feels victorious because this sacrifice has allowed her and all of the Israeli people the opportunity to continue to live and grow in the Land of Israel. 

Her sons knew what they were fighting for and what they were willing to die for, but as Rabbi Noach Weinberg founder of Aish HaTorah says, they also knew what they were willing to live for, a profound and meaningful life. 

Miriam Peretz speaks to soldiers during their tour of duty to share these messages and to help them clarify the reason for which they fight. 

Miriam also has a very important message for each of us. She says that she doesn’t need Memorial Day, she thinks of her boys every day, rather, Memorial Day is for us. It’s an opportunity for us to think about what we nationally have done to deserve  these incredible kids who have laid down their lives for all the Jewish people.  She encourages us to take on  one of the characteristics of one of the fallen, whether it’s love of Israel, doing kindness or learning Torah, to see their greatness, so we can truly, eternally commemorate these soldiers and honor  the source of their strength.

Sivan Rahav Meir, Israeli Torah teacher and news correspondent shared that she experienced exactly the above. In these recent days she was inundated with news of projects and initiatives that had begun as a result of a lesson learned from a fallen soldier. There was so much - she couldn’t possibly report on all of it. She suggested we use this powerful energy and hold onto to it to sprinkle over the year when extra moments of faith and courage are needed. 

At the end of the Memorial Day ceremony the honor guard is commanded to stand still and be silent. 

We too should take a moment and be still and contemplate the dedication and courage of these fallen heroes who were willing to stand forth and do their job to make sure we would be protected. 

May their memories be a blessing and may no more mothers experience this pain. This week’s double Torah portion of Tazria/Metzora talks about a spiritual ailment which has a physical manifestation. If we judge one another or speak ill of one another a blemish will appear on a person’s skin, clothing or even their home. Our Sages teach us this is because of tzarut ayin a restricted eye, which means when we look at someone we are not expansive in our appreciation of who they are and the unique mission they must complete in this world. We do not see their greatness. If we look at each other with much appreciation and know that the gifts we were given are specifically apportioned based on the mission each person needs to accomplish, we would never be jealous or speak poorly of one another. 

Staying focused on that idea often takes courage because we have to believe in ourselves and in each other. We have to truly see one another with an open and not restricted eye.  When we can come to that profound understanding we will feel the gratitude for the role we have been assigned and the weapons and tools we have been given to complete the job. 

This is also an opportunity to remain silent and hold back from a negative word or thought which can be destructive and instead listen  and carefully look at those around us who can be such a source of inspiration. What we see will propel us forward. The discipline of really looking for the worthiness of each individual is worthy of the ultimate salute!