“Dahling you look divine” !
That is a compliment a woman might appreciate.
It reflects the positive opinion of one who sees a pleasing outward appearance and pays a fulsome compliment.
Another expression which incorporates the divine is one that reflects on a superior, inner character trait.
In the words of English poet Alexander Pope,
“To err is human, to forgive divine”.
That is not just a cliché.
One of the 13 Divine Attributes of Gd’s essence is forgiveness.
What is forgiveness?
The Mayo Clinic provides the following definition:
“Forgiveness involves a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help free you from the control of the person who harmed you”.
Despite the fact we say what’s done is done and cannot be undone, we do have the concept of repentance and forgiveness which allows us to move forward and release ourselves from resentment over things that might have caused us pain.
This week’s Torah portion is called Vayigash and it contains the narrative of the reunion of Joseph and his brothers.
They had been separated after the brothers had sold him into slavery after Joseph revealed his dreams in which he was apparently ruling over the family. Joseph is taken to Egypt and in a long series of events actually does become a ruler in Egypt, second in command to Pharaoh. His interpretation of Pharaoh’s dream was accepted and he became viceroy and was put in charge of all the food in Egypt. When the entire civilized world experienced the hunger he had foretold, everyone came to him for food, including his brothers. They did not initially recognize Joseph and in another series of events which Joseph engineered, he separated the brothers once again, pitting them against Benjamin, his only full sibling, in an attempt to see if they have actually mended their ways or will they once again throw a sibling to the wolves.
When the brothers act properly and protect Benjamin, Joseph is no longer able to restrain himself. In one of the most moving passages in the Torah, Joseph reveals his true identity to his brothers.
“I am Joseph your brother-it is me THAT you sold into Egypt”.
As you can imagine, the brothers were stunned by this revelation. They also recoiled in shame and embarrassment over the terrible crime they had committed against him.
It also seems from these words that Joseph is still angry at them as he includes the words describing their dastardly deed, “it is me, THAT you sold into Egypt” as part of his introduction.
The Sefas Emes, a Chasidic Rabbi who lived in Poland in the 1800s, notices an unusual word which is inserted in the phrase. Joseph uses the word THAT, in Hebrew, ASHER, which is superfluous in the sentence.
It could have just read I am Joseph you sold to Egypt. The word ASHER also connotes happiness. Does that mean Joseph was saying
I am the brother you sold and I am happy about it?
The Sefas Emes teaches us that Joseph forgives his brothers at this moment because he recognizes that it is precisely due to the challenges they created that he was able to achieve greatness. The challenges that he faced as a result of their actions actually brought out the best in him, and for that he was grateful and happy, as he was able to see the Divine plan and all that ensued as a result of their actions. Joseph mentions Gd multiple times as the true author of the events that had transpired.
Joseph recognized his own failings that played a part in the saga and he acknowledged his mistakes. Then he created the scenario in which he pitted the rest of the brothers against a son of Rachel his mother, just as it had been with him.
The brothers vs. Joseph.
He recreated the same scenario to give them the opportunity to do the right thing, when placed in a similar situation. Here Benjamin was going to be kept in prison and the brothers refused to sacrifice him. This time they were able to respond appropriately and come to their brother’s aid.
Once Joseph saw that exact scene coming to a different and proper conclusion, a complete repentance on their part, he could actually offer them forgiveness because they had earned it. He did not hold onto his grudge and resentment as he saw their repair coupled with the Divine hand that had orchestrated the events.
The brothers had undone something that had been done.
The whole series of events that had transpired over the past 22 years then fell into perspective and all the brothers were able to see Gd’s master plan as it evolved.
Sometimes we experience events and are able to comprehend their meaning right away, sometimes the explanation may take a lifetime or beyond.
Rabbi Elimelech Biderman, contemporary Torah teacher in Israel, related that he recently received a letter from a student. The young man was returning home and was extremely perturbed to find a large bag of garbage at the entrance of his building. He somehow identified the person who had negligently left the bag and he berated the perpetrator for leaving a mess. The gentleman in question apologized profusely and explained that he would be removing it soon, he had not meant to annoy anyone.
The young man went upstairs fuming with self righteous indignation over the lack of proper behavior by his neighbor which annoyed him greatly. Still muttering he entered his apartment and began doing some chores.
His balcony had a railing which required his attention so he gathered some tools and began to repair the balcony. In the process , the student climbed over the railing and somehow lost his footing, tumbling down a height of one and a half floors. In the fall he broke his wrist and injured his arm. But his head was spared injury because his head landed on the large garbage bag which was still outside. Underneath that large garbage bag was a rock and that very annoying and smelly nuisance became his salvation as it protected his head from further injury.
The young man quickly forgave his neighbor and thanked him for providing him with a softer and safer landing.
Going through any challenges, whether they may be large or small is always unpleasant, but they may be the entryway to a new level of awareness, strength or growth and appreciation. And if we are willing to consider there might be a bigger picture, we might be easier to forgive the failings of those around us.
Especially since forgiveness is a Divine trait which we strive to emulate.
And while those who may be the catalysts for those challenges must still repair their ways, if we can find it in our hearts to forgive them when they apologize, we will truly earn the accolade -
Dahling you are Divine!
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!
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