Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi, one of Israel’s most popular, current Torah teachers, shared a poignant memory.
She recalls being present at the reading of her Father’s will after his passing. The reading began with the statement that he loved all his children equally. When she heard those words she was so comforted and felt no interest in the dispersal of material things.
As she says, she felt she had inherited millions, property that no one could fight over.
This is the time when we want to bequeath love to our children.
Last night I went to pay a shiva call. The woman who passed away was the mother of a large family of 8 children. It was a blended family. She married a man who was divorced with three young children. When they married, she made a personal commitment to herself to love these children as her own.
Was she successful?
I will share a few vignettes and you can decide for yourself.
The youngest child was 2 years old when this woman became her stepmom. Coincidentally, they shared the same name. The husband/father suggested changing the little girl’s name. She was very young and he thought she would quickly forget her original name.
His new bride wouldn’t hear of it. She said the little girl was having to adjust to so many new realities in her life and instead she would change her own name!
So, at the age of 30, she called herself by her middle name, and continued with that appellation for the rest of her life.
When her illness had progressed and it was time for hospice care, all the children wanted her in their own home. Ultimately her last days were spent in the home of one of the stepdaughters because the accommodations there were best for her needs.
At the funeral, her stepson, a man of extreme accomplishment, gifted with the ability to speak publicly with great elegance and regal presence, broke down in sobs as he attempted to eulogize his Mother. I have known him for over 30 years and never saw him express such raw emotion.
I think we would all agree that this special woman was indeed successful.
Through the power of her love and devotion, she was able to forge loving bonds of love that tied her family together in closeness and warmth.
This week’s Torah portion is Miketz, which means from the end.
It describes the denouement of the Joseph story.
He and his brothers did not get along. He did not speak properly about them and they in turn misunderstood him. They were going to do away with him, but instead sold him as a slave. Joseph undergoes many trials and tribulations but with much hard work coupled with Divine intervention he ultimately becomes the Viceroy of Egypt, second only to the King.
His brothers come to Egypt in search of food during a famine and come face to face with their brother.
He recognizes them, but they do not recognize him.
This may be due to the passage of time and lack of context, they never could imagine that their long lost brother, last seen as a callous 17 year old youth, could be the leader of all the ancient world?
Our Sages give an interpretation, that they never recognized him, they never saw him as their brother, not in the days of their youth and not now.
Yemima Mizrachi teaches us the unique message of this Portion, what we can learn “from the end”.
Even when something looks like it’s at the end, you can still learn something, create new connections and new relationships.
Joseph starts from the end and reintroduces himself to his brothers to create a new beginning, a new level of love and understanding in the family dynamic.
The portion also mentions that Joseph was given a new name Tzofnas Paneach, which means the revealer of the hidden. This refers to Joseph’s revealing the hidden meaning in the dreams he interpreted for the King, Pharaoh. But perhaps it also alludes to the love that was hidden in the family that Joseph was able to access, to reveal that the love of a parent is equally spread over all the children, and they can relate to one another in that environment of loving acceptance.
May the light of Chanukah shed understanding and connection on complicated relationships and may we be inspired by my friend’s Mother of blessed memory who used the strength of love and understanding to see what was hidden beneath the surface, children who needed a Mom, and used her strengths to build eternity.
Chanukah Sameach
Happy Chanukah
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!