sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name ...

Am I dating myself by asking who recognizes these lyrics? They are the words of the theme song of the popular 80’s sitcom Cheers. 

The show took place in a pub where people could find comfort and camaraderie to combat the anonymity of living in a big city. It was a gathering place where locals could socialize, and most importantly, was a place where one had a real identity, a name. 

I was talking to a dear friend who had recently attended a funeral. She was sharing that the man who passed away was very taciturn, reclusive, and shy to a fault. It was really hard to get him to speak or engage in conversation. 

But there was one thing that would move him to a response. It meant so much to him when people would call him by his first name. If one would call this gentleman by his name when addressing him, he would stop, and make the superhuman effort to connect and even vocalize his appreciation of this kindness. For him, being mentioned by name meant that he was being seen. This meant a great deal him and was one of the few methods by which he could be pulled out of his shyness. 

This week we begin a new book of the five books of the Torah, namely Exodus. 

The Parsha of this week bears the same name, but in Hebrew the portion is called Shemot,  or Names. 

The very first verse begins

“And these are the names of the children of Israel who are coming to Egypt”

The portion begins with a list of the Tribes, the children of Israel. 

We certainly know the names of Jacob’s, aka, Israel’s sons. They were  the major players in the previous narrative. Why do we need to list them once again?

Rashi, the 11th century commentator on all the Torah answers by saying that even though they were mentioned by name during their lifetime, they are listed once again by name as they are about to pass on from the world stage, in order to inform, or to let it be known, how beloved each one was. Rashi continues by saying they were compared to the stars which are are lovingly brought out each night, counted one by one by name, before they are replaced, so to speak, in the firmament. 

It’s like the loving parent constantly doing roll call by name, to make sure all the precious children are present and accounted for. 

This exemplifies Gd’s love for the Tribes and for all of his creations by calling them by name. 

When parents name a child, they are accessing a sliver of prophecy as they identify the essence of the child by the name they choose. 

Name in Hebrew is SHEM. 

But if you take the same letters and just change the vowels you can also read it as SHAM, which means “there”. 

The name identifies what is. 

That is the power in a name. 

But Rashi also said that Gd wanted to “LET IT BE KNOWN” that these named children, these stars, were precious and therefore listed by name once again. 

Who is Gd informing?

Who needed to be in the know?

The Sefas Emes, Chassidic 19th century Rabbi answers,

Gd was informing YOU. 

You, and I and each and every one of us has to know, and really experience, how precious we are in the eyes of Gd. 

Each and everyone of us is a star, a name, and just as every star has a name in Gds book, so do we. 

When the Nazis wanted to dehumanize their Jewish prisoners, they stripped them of their possessions. But one of the most demoralizing actions they did was taking away people’s names and replacing their name, their identity, with a number. When one is reduced to being just a number they are stripped of their very essence. 

It is human nature to enjoy hearing one’s name. (Unless you are in trouble) it means someone loves you enough to call out your name. 

My friend told me that after the funeral she attended, she was inspired to begin her conversations with people by mentioning their names first. She was surprised to see the difference it made to the quality of the interaction. 

When people feel seen, when they are acknowledged, they know that the words you will utter next will be perfectly directed to them. 

Because you have uttered their name you make it clear you know exactly who you are talking to!

It is amazing how such a small sensitivity can create a loving environment, a sense of camaraderie, just because you knew my name. 

Cheers!

Shabbat Shalom and so much love!