This week I start my message to you with a request for prayers.
Our dear Batsheva has a nephew who was injured in a terrorist attack in Jerusalem today. His situation is critical and the need for your prayers is acute.
Please take a moment to say a chapter of Psalms, Tehillim in the merit of a total and complete recovery for
Yonah Ben Shayna Rivka.
May our prayers serve as a guard and shield for Yoni and with Gd’s help, speedy healing.

https://www.jwcatlanta.org/tehillim_psalms_chapter_130

This is a link to JWCatlanta’s website and one of the chapters of Psalms that can be recited. I will keep you updated and pray to share good news.

Any mitzvot we do can also be accrued for the merit of someone who is sick or struggling in any way.
One of the most powerful tools we have are our mouths. We can use our speech for prayer and good words, or we can sully our lips with gossip and slander.
In Biblical times the reaction to This week we have a double Torah portion Tazria -Metzora which focus on laws of purity and impurity as well as laws regarding speech. Loshon Hara or evil speech would result in a physical manifestation which looked like leprosy. This is a unique case of spiritual malady presenting with physical symptoms.
Nowadays we do not see a physical reaction to our negative speech. Although perhaps the pit in the stomach or the feeling of personal shame that one feels after demeaning another, is akin to that physical reality.

So why do we do it?
It only feels good for a minute?
Perhaps because we do not feel good about ourselves and in that low moment we rationalize the reasonable response may be to diminish another.
So what are we to do about it?
The Chofetz Chaim, Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan, wrote prolifically on the topic.
He calls his work the Chofetz Chaim which means the one who seeks life after a verse in Tehillim, Psalms
“Who is the man that desires life…he should guard his tongue from speaking evil”
Psalms 34:13
How do we become that human, who speaks no ill of others?
Speech is fundamental difference between man and animals. If we are lofty in our speech, we achieve the title of human.
Rabbi Kagan suggests some methodologies to help us keep the proper perspective and stay away from negative speech.
One tactic is called judging favorably, a technique which is taught in Ethics of our Fathers.
Often a situation occurs, we are inconvenienced or badly hurt and our knee jerk reaction is to lash back out in response.
Instead, we need to build a muscle called judging favorably.
That exercise requires repetition like any other in order to build the muscle.
And like a good athlete, we sometimes must go to great extremes to achieve primacy. Something may happen and instead of rushing to judge, we must use our imagination to find an alternative story.
In a book called the Quill of the Heart, Rabbi Hanoch Teller shares a true story he entitled
The Judge Knot.
There is a family, the “Goldsteins” who is very hospitable and often hosted a young woman “Miriam” who was going through some challenging times. The Goldsteins have a daughter, “Kaila” which is the same age as Miriam. One Shabbat Miriam arrived wearing a sweater that Kaila thought was hers. In fact it was her favorite sweater that had been missing for over a month. When asked, Mirism insisted it was her sweater. Kaila discussed the situation with her parents who concluded it must be a coincidence that Miriam had a very similar sweater. Later Kaila remembered that there had been a pink, woolen loop sticking out of her sweater in the back. She had been meaning to fix it but hadn’t gotten around to it. She nonchalantly walked behind Miriam and sure enough, there was the loop.
It seemed there was incontrovertible evidence that Miriam had stolen the sweater.
This is the moment where Kaila needed to flex her judging favorably muscles to explain how on earth Miriam had her sweater.
But she didn’t.
Instead Miriam was confronted about the sweater. She answered that she received it from Mrs. Segal. Mrs. Segal is a woman known for her charitable activities. She often collects gently worn clothing and gives it to those in need.
Kayla knew she had not donated her favorite sweater.
Things looked black indeed for Miriam’s innocence.
A few days later Kaila’s sister suddenly remembered that she had spilled something on that sweater and had taken it to the dry cleaners and had never picked it up. Kaila raced over to the dry cleaners hoping against hope that her sweater was indeed there. However, to her great dismay-no sweater.
The proprietor of the dry cleaner asked when this garment had been brought in.
Kaila replied that it had been about 5 weeks.
The proprietor apologized and said his policy was that any items left in his store longer than a month without being claimed were given to Mrs. Segal, the lady who distributes clothing to the poor…
You know that expression
“You can’t make this stuff up?”
It’s perhaps something we should strive for in our challenge to judge favorably.
Today I was the beneficiary of such generosity when I missed an appointment with a dear friend. Instead of berating me for wasting her time and energy, driving across time and waiting for me, she so sweetly texted
“All ok?”
All was not ok as evidenced by the beginning of these words, but I was so comforted that there is still goodness and patience in abundance in this scary world .
So achieving this good attribute is attainable and one we can all strive towards perfecting.
And every time you hold yourself back from a judgy thought or statement, and try and give the benefit of the doubt instead, send that merit you have accrued heavenward towards Yonah Ben Shayna Rivka who is need of our love and support.
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!