Sivan Rahav-Meir Meir, Israeli correspondent and Torah teacher shared a message she received from a reservist who is fighting in the war.
“Shalom Sivan from a reserve unit in the south. Tomorrow, Friday, is the fast of the 10th of Tevet. Many will not fast because they are serving in the military, and I am among them.
But I already heard about several people who said that they never fasted on this day in the past but they will try to fast tomorrow. In my eyes, this is significant. Where were we during the Yom Kippur fast and where are we today?”

Friday is the 10th of Tevet which the day on which the siege of Jerusalem began in 425 BCE. The Babylonian enemy surrounded the walls of the city on the 10th of Tevet, broke through the walls on the 17th of Tammuz and, ultimately, on the 9th of Av, the Holy Temple was destroyed.
This fast is unique among fasts as it is observed even when it falls on a Friday and may interfere with Shabbat preparations.
It is viewed as a highly significant day as it is the beginning of the chain of events that culminated in the destruction of the first Temple. Even though there was a second Temple subsequently, it never matched the glory of the first, and all the suffering and exile that have come are also a consequence of that tragic beginning.
Fasting may seem to be counterintuitive.
Usually Jewish fast says memorialize bad things that have happened to us and we are supposed to use the fast day as an opportunity to understand the loss we experienced and correct the mistakes which caused them.
I personally am not a good faster.
By the end of the day I am often feeling more like a wet noodle than a person who has undergone the serious work of introspection.
I am more worried about making it through the fast.
So what is the point?
Our Sages teach us that by abstaining from food and drink we strip away the distractions and focus on what is truly important to us.
What are we really living for?
What really brings us happiness?
Is the fabulous food I was planning to consume for my next meal what defines me? Is that what brings me true joy?

As Rabbi David Rosenfeld says
“when we live without such creature comforts, we can look deeper. What really gives meaning to my life? What is really important to me? While enjoying the superficial, we can distract ourselves with that. But when we must do without, we can see through it all and recognize what is truly significant to us. “
The ongoing war in Israel is so hard.
So many losses.
I am afraid to wake up in the morning and see who has given their lives for us.
They are all such heroic and elevated souls.
They all had mothers and fathers, spouses and children.
Their absence is leaving huge craters in the lives of their loved ones, in the tapestry of the Jewish people.
But the unbridled love amongst us continues to shine brightly.
This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash and it depicts the poignant reunion of Joseph and his brothers.
Joseph would have been well within his rights to throw the book at his brothers. After all, they had betrayed him in the most brutal manner.
They had basically given him a death sentence.
Instead, after Joseph reveals his identity to his brothers who had not recognized him, he embraces them. And then he comforts them by saying that his descent to Egypt was clearly part of Gd’s plan, a part of an overarching picture.
He gave them the gift of absolution.
Would we be able to be so majestic in a situation where we had been so clearly wronged?
Is there anyone in our times who could have such generosity of spirit in the face of seeming betrayal?
My answer to that question is an unequivocal yes.
Because that majesty and clarity of vision has been bequeathed to the descendants of Joseph and manifested itself just this week.
Iris Haim, an Israeli woman, is the mother of Yotam, who had been taken hostage by Hamas on October 7. Yotam was tragically killed by the IDF, together with two other hostages. The IDF troops mistakenly identified them as a threat and shot them.
It is hard to imagine what pain this mother must be experiencing. Her son was in captivity for over two months and when freedom seemed tantalizingly near, he was killed by his own brothers.
This what Iris said in a message she sent to the soldiers who mistakenly killed her son:
“I am Yotam’s mother. I wanted to tell you that I love you very much, and I hug you from afar. I know that everything that happened is absolutely not your fault, and nobody’s fault except that of Hamas, may their name be wiped out and their memory erased from the earth. I want you to look after yourselves and to think all the time that you are doing the best thing in the world, the best thing that could happen, that could help us. Because all the people of Israel and all of us need you healthy. And don’t hesitate for a second if you see a terrorist. Don’t think you killed a hostage deliberately. You have to look after yourselves because only that way can you look after us.
At the first opportunity, you are invited to come to us, whoever wants to. And we want to see you with our own eyes and hug you and tell you that what you did-however hard it is to say this, and sad, it was apparently the right thing in that moment. And nobody is going to judge you or be angry. Not me, my husband or my daughter or son.
We love you very much, and that is all.”
The fast of the 10th of Tevet highlights the fissures which occurred between Gd and the nation of Israel and the fractions that arose between brothers and sisters.
Joseph taught us how we repair by rising above and embracing his brothers, even though his pain was most justified.
Can we even imagine a more lofty soul than Iris Haim who embodies a similar regal, royal and elevated spirit?
She has truly ripped away any impediments and allows herself the ultimate soul connection. We do not fast only to memorialize what happened, but also to rectify that event. To move forward together, toward building and not toward destruction.
Iris Haim we salute you, daughter of Joseph, builder of our people, a true Mother in Israel.
May she and her family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and may we know no more loss.
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!