Day 256
Many years ago our family had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of another family here in Atlanta.
One of the children, a teenager, was searching to find meaning in his Judaism, and became a regular visitor.
He brought his parents to meet us, and we became fast friends.
Each of the above had limited Jewish background, and they were intrigued to learn more.
They had another daughter who was attending a prestigious law school out of state. This daughter became alarmed as she heard about the Jewish journey her parents were embarking upon, and was afraid they had lost their compass.
To allay her fears, the mom suggested she join us on her next visit home.
To her credit, she came.
In perfect lawyerly fashion, she peppered us with questions about Judaism.
To me it seemed she was not very interested.
She was not connecting personally to the Jewish wisdom that was being shared.
As the meal progressed, my husband began sharing a Torah thought. It centered around the laws of Loshon Hara, the prohibition to speak slander about others.
I was astounded to see a complete change in the demeanor of our budding lawyer. She was dumbfounded to hear that Judaism forbids gossip, speaking badly about another.
It turned out that this precept was hers as well.
She was known amongst her peers as someone who would not speak, or share, or listen to Loshon Hara.
This decision on her part did not make her very popular with some of her friends, and it was at great personal sacrifice that she continued her practice.
Learning that there are many laws regarding proper speech and the respect the Torah requires us to show one another, was an eye opener for her.
Today, this young woman is a successful attorney, plying her craft while she carefully keeps the laws of Loshon Hara, and many others as well.

The Shabbat of our introduction was this one, the Parsha called Shelach, which means send.
This portion recounts the tragic episode of the spies who were sent in to the Land of Israel after the Torah was given in Mt Sinai. The spies were being sent as reconnaissance, to scout out the land prior to entry by the Jewish people.
In the Torah portion last week, we were told of a very unfortunate incident where the siblings of Moses spoke about him in a negative fashion.
Those siblings are none other than Aaron and Miriam, prophets and leaders of the Jewish people. Their misdeed was to think that Moses was a prophet as they were.
In Judaism, the leaders and prophets retain a lifestyle of building family and relationship. That was how Aaron and Miriam conducted themselves. But they did not realize that Moses was a unique prophet. In all of history there was only one person with whom Gd communicated so regularly and with such clarity.
Moses therefore had to be on alert at all times, always ready to interact with Gd without even a moments notice.
He therefore separated from his wife and Miriam took note and mentioned it in a negative manner.
The Torah explains that Miriam was punished for this behavior.
Our Sages ask, why is there a connection from that story to this one?
This Torah portion tells us of the mission to send spies to scope out the Land in preparation for entry.
Gd paved the way for a smooth and miraculous passage into the Land of Israel.
But the scouts, the spies, interpreted every event with a negative lens.
They seemingly forgot all the miracles that had occurred so recently and saw only death, and negativity.
They returned to the Jewish encampment and spread Loshon Hora, slander about the Land, and the impossibility of its conquest.
They had not learned from the incident of Miriam.
And when the opportunity arose for them to make a choice and refrain from slanderous talk, they succumbed, with disastrous results.
Why is Loshon Hara so negative?
Because the world of the speaker of Loshon Hora is directly contradicting the one Gd created.
The world is obviously imperfect, and Gd is guiding it to perfection. So too with people, we aren’t perfect, but Gd sees the good in each person and gives us the tools, experiences and challenges that will help each person succeed in their personal growth and self development.
Therefore, if we focus or speak about someone’s lackings, we have missed the point.
It is exactly those limitations which have been gifted by Gd to that person to provide the path to perfecting themselves.
Someone speaking Landon Hara about those imperfections is negating their Gd given purpose, and thereby nullifying Gd’s plan.
This was the sin of the scouts. They missed the opportunity to learn from Miriam’s experience and see that the challenges of the Land had been perfectly engineered for them by Gd to reach perfection.
On Day 265 of this horrible war, we are continually afforded glimpses of greatness.
We catch a glimmer of a person named Adam who recently fell in combat.
His letter, the soldiers write before entering war, is now tragically revealed to us.
Adam says he did his best to live life fully, and he expresses thanks for every person he met on his journey, for the inspiration he was able to share and receive.
Adam understands that those he has met has helped him on his road to self development, and he focuses on the love and relationships that have helped him grow and become who he was.
The challenges are real.
The times are hard.
But we can choose to focus on the love, the positivity and the relationships we can build.
We can choose to highlight each other’s strengths and recognize that we shouldn’t speak badly of the weaknesses because they are the path to greatness.
That’s our job on day 256.
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!