Turning on the news has become an act of bravery.
Nothing can be more disheartening than seeing the latest act of antisemitism turning lethal.
It’s hard to smile in these difficult times.
Yet, our lives are a study in contrasts.
A couple was gunned down last night and another celebrated their marriage today.
Are we supposed to smile?
There have been studies that look into the science of smiling and the effect smiling has on others.
A study in the Frontiers of Behavioral Neuroscience measured the impact of smiling at others in the course of conversation.
“the study also found that speakers’ feelings of friendliness towards the listeners and their enjoyment of the conversations increased in conditions where the listeners smiled more frequently. This suggests that not only do we tend to mirror the smiles of others, but that these smiles genuinely influence our emotional experience of the interaction”.
As they say “smile and the world smiles with you”.
This is why certain retailers employ greeters who smile and welcome customers as they enter. It seems to have a positive impact on sales.
Greeting someone positively makes them feel good because they are seen.
We humanize and validate the other with a smile and greeting.
This week’s Torah portions of Behar and Bechukosai address this issue.
“If your brother becomes impoverished and his hand falters in your proximity, you shall grab hold of him…” (Leviticus 25:35).
The sages teach us that if we don’t help our poor brethren we are actually stealing from them.
That is confusing.
How could not helping a poor person be considered stealing from them?
We are enjoined to provide charity, but if we don’t is that stealing?
Rabbi Yitzchok Zweig explains
“This is referring to a situation where someone greets you and you purposefully ignore him.”
It seems that we take something from a person when we don’t greet that person, or smile at that individual, or recognize the person’s presence.
That person feels invisible.
You’ve stolen their self worth.
How do we fix this problem?
The Torah portion tells us how to adjust our mindset.
If we look at every person as a brother we will interact with that person in a completely different way.
We won’t see that person as a charity case who we deign to lower ourselves to help.
Rather this is a family member who has fallen on hard times and it is our privilege to extend a hand, a smile.
By doing so we grant the greatest gift of all, love and self esteem. The person feels lifted by the love.
This is practical on many levels.
Often we may have charity collectors who appear at our door. This may happen in real time with a physical human asking for help, or it may be in the form of an individual asking virtually for help for themselves or an organization.
When this individual appears there are many choices we can make, and many responses we can provide.
Obviously the financial support is what is needed and it is incumbent upon us to give generously according to our situation.
But how do we give it?

Do we distastefully give the gift?
Or do we treat the person like a mensch and give graciously with a smile?
I have shared in the past that growing up in Manhattan we had many charity collectors coming to our home.
My Father z”l always greeted each one warmly, inviting them in for a cold drink and a little shmooze, sharing a Torah thought or some Jewish geography. Once a collector came twice in the same day.
I was astonished to see my Father go through the whole rigmarole all over again.
I wondered if he had forgotten the man’s visit earlier in the day.
He extended the same warmth and smile and a second donation.
I was so surprised.
When I asked my Father about it later that evening he explained that he appears before Gd three times a day with his prayers and requests and Gd allows him to reappear again and again without disdain, so too he had the opportunity to graciously greet someone in need a second time.
For my Dad, it was a Gdly moment.
The verse talks about the fact that the brother in need his “hand” is faltering.
How do we strengthen his hand in times of trouble.
The numerical value of the word in Hebrew for hand, which is YAD, is 14. (Each letter in the Hebrew language has a numerical value and teachings can be derived from the study of these numbers. This science is called Gemayriya)
If one hand grabs another, that’s two hands. That equals 28. Yad plus yad is 14+14=28.
A word that has the numerical value for 28 is Koach, which means strength.
The verse says if your brothers hand becomes impoverished, you shall strengthen him n
Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi shares the teachings of the Sefas Emes, a 17th century Chassidic master,
“Gd provides each of us all we need, however in order to receive it, we must hold each other’s hands, from one person to the next, to enable the blessing to flow, to reach each other through giving and receiving.”
It’s been another sad week.
So much loss.
But we can lighten the load of unbearable pain by seeing each other and letting our brother and sister know we really see them by extending a loving, supportive hand and a gentle smile.
One hand meeting another creates Koach, strength.
That smile and outreached hand creates an unbreakable bond through which blessing can flow.
So smiling seems to be an important and appropriate operating function to help us through these trying times.
Let your smile be your umbrella!
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!
😊