How are you?
That’s an innocuous question.
People throw it out mindlessly.
They may ask the question and not even wait to hear the answer.
Nowadays, however, it’s a difficult question.
You feel silly asking it.
It’s almost inappropriate.
Many are struggling with so much as we continue to wait and pray for the hostages to come home, wait and pray for our soldiers to come home safe and sound, pray for the safety of the Jewish people worldwide.
But people are still going to ask that question.
It sort of slips out when you least expect it.
So here are two responses that hit a chord with me.
(Because answering “fine” is not going to cut it).
Rebbetzin Tehilla Jaeger of NY responds to the question by answering
“Grateful and Begging”.
I love that answer.
It reminds us that we are indeed blessed on so many levels, while constantly being aware that we are vulnerable and there is so much more we cannot do without.
Sivan Rahav Meir shared that she was recently paying a shiva visit to a family who had lost their son in battle in Gaza. The father mentioned to Sivan when he people ask him how he is he answers
“Learning, Learning”
This is a breathtaking answer on so many levels. Here is a recently bereaved father who does not answer in anger or bitterness. He realizes that he does not understand the ways of Gd, nor may he understand why things are happening, but he is learning so much about his son, others and even himself, during these difficult times.
We may not understand why events are unfolding, but we are given unexpected windows into the minds and thoughts of some people, people we would never had the opportunity to meet under regular circumstances.
It’s sn opportunity to learn and be inspired.
We are introduced to names.
The names we hear are often those of the fallen soldiers.
Every morning I wake up and check the news holding my breath. I almost can’t breath as I look to see the “names that have been cleared for publication.” That means the army has already informed the fallen soldier’s family and now we, his extended family are given the name, which is accompanied by a picture of a beautiful, young person, taken from us too soon.
At the same time we are given an opportunity to celebrate the names. They don’t disappear into obscurity because certain people are making sure we know the person behind the name. We are given a glimpse into the greatness of the person and the impact they have left behind during their short sojourn on earth.
These glimpses may come from family members, mothers, fathers, siblings, or they can come from a comedian.
That is not a joke.
Hanoch Daum is an Israeli writer and journalist who is known for his comic take on society.
Of late, Hanich Daum has become very serious.
On a daily basis he profiles the story of someone we have lost.
He wants to make sure that their memory will not be lost.
We are introduced to the person inside the uniform, as Daum shares some of the dreams and accomplishments of the fallen soldier.
He also highlights the names and struggling businesses of soldiers who are in active duty, reminding all to frequent the place of business which has been neglected because it’s owner has picked up arms to protect us instead of protecting their own interests.
There are names that we are being introduced to that should become household names to us.

We were recently introduced to Binyomin Airley, 21, of Beit Shemesh, who was killed in Gaza.
It came to light after Binyomin was killed that he had left a list behind. This was a list he authored as 17 year old.
His Mother shared some of the 55 items that Binyomin wanted in his life.
He wanted to eat healthy and work out, have good friends,do well in school and be in a good unit in the IDF. He wanted to learn a lot of Torah and to pray with concentration. He wanted to be humble and modest.
His Mom wasn’t sure if it was alright to share these inner thoughts but she realized it’s an obligation as there is so much we can learn from him.
She concluded by asking each of us-
“What is on your list?”
This young man was a giant. He had a vision. He knew who he wanted to be.
He didn’t want to waste his abilities.
He wanted to know why he came to this world.
Binyomin Airley holds us to a higher standard.
Recently he wrote he felt he was born for this war and it is a privilege to fight for the Jewish people.
Are we not blessed to have such warriors in our midst?
We must always remember his name.
Sivan Rav Meir mentioned that she recently went to a wedding and there were lists of names.
Every guest could take a piece of paper with a name of a hostage or a soldier or an injured soldier and the guests were given the opportunity to pray for each name.
It will not surprise anyone that this week’s Torah portion is called Shemot, which means Names.
It begins with a review of all the names of Jacob’s family who have traveled to Egypt.
The word for name in Hebrew is Shem. If you alter the vowels you can also read it as Shom, which means “that which is there”. The name identifies the object.
Our Sages teach us that when a parent names a child at birth there is an element of prophecy at play. The name is identifying a spiritual aspect of the baby’s soul.
The Midrash teaches us an interesting fact about the role names play in Jewish survival, in this first exile of the Jewish people. One of the reasons the nation of Israel was ultimately redeemed from Egypt is because they held onto their Jewish names. This helped them stay connected to their people and their identity.
That inalienable connection leads to redemption.
And, as the last months have shown, another key factor which leads us to redemption is unity.
Loving each other and standing together despite any superficial differences means we will prevail.
The Chasam Sofer, 18th century Torah scholar teaches us that we don’t forget our own names because we love ourselves.
If we want to show that we love others, we need to know their names.
In the coming months, many of the babies that will be born will surely be given the names of the brave soldiers whose sacrifice and deep soul should not be forgotten.
May their names and memory be for a blessing.
How are we?
Learning, Learning
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!