This week’s Torah portion is called Toldot, which means offspring. 

It is the portion which chronicles the life of our patriarch and matriarch, Isaac and Rebecca. 

Rebecca gives birth to twins, Jacob and Esau and the narrative describes the personalities of these twins and the  life path they each choose to follow. 

This past week was one of great tragedy in Israel. 

A young teenager, on his way to school, was senselessly murdered. As I read what was written about this young man, I saw in him, a parallel to our patriarch Jacob. 

The verses describe Jacob as an “ish tam” a wholesome person, “a dweller in tents”. 

The word “tam” is translated sometimes as perfect, but perhaps integrity and completeness are better translations. 

The Maharal, 16th century Torah giant,  teaches that the character trait of being a “tam” is a primary goal in character development. 

Rabbi Judah Mischel expounds on this idea of striving towards sincerity. He explains that the common definition of “tam” being perfection is the opposite of character development and spiritual growth. 

“Gd does not expect perfection from us, the entire system of repentance and the possibility of forgiveness is based on inevitable sins and mistakes.”

Jacob was called a person of wholeness and sincerity as his innermost thoughts and his words were integrated and connected. He saw the world with wonder,  innocence and completeness. 

Arye Shupak of blessed memory, despite his youth, was an “ish tam”, a man of completeness. His family, teachers and friends describe his wholesome attitude to all, the one with a childlike innocence who saw the best in others and brought his peers together. 

Arye z’l was also a dweller of the tents. This phrase describes one who sits in the tent of Torah and studies diligently. Arye wasn’t feeling well the morning of his murder and his mother suggested he remain at home. Arye insisted on going to school as he did not want to miss any Torah studies. He wanted to make the most of every minute. 

In his eulogy, Arye’s father apologized to his son for what he could have done and didn’t. He exhorted those listening to appreciate every moment with their children and to put aside less important matters. 

These were the words of a father to his precious, innocent and complete 15 year old son who was murdered in cold blood on his way to study. 

We have so much to be thankful for. 

Let us try to focus on what is important. 

As I was writing these words I was having a conversation with one of my kids. I found myself becoming frustrated with his response to the challenge we were trying to address. 

I then thought about the words I was writing and thought it would be so refreshing if I actually practiced what I preached. So I took a deep breath and after lovingly sharing my opinion, allowed myself to appropriately leave the decision in his hands. 

Let us put our attention to those who help make us whole and complete, and treasure every moment we are gifted to be in their presence. 

May this precious family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. 

Shabbat Shalom and so much love