I once went to a convention. It was one of those events where you present your ID at registration. When I arrived at checkin I was told that I was already there.
Clearly there was some mistake.
Was there someone out there with my name?
Then I attended another event and was surprised to see my name flash across the screen as someone who has served in the Israeli Defense Forces.
Clearly there was a case of mistaken identity afoot.
The notion of a mixup such as this has been the subject of many a drama.
It is also at the root of the tragedy that befell the Jewish people.
We are approaching the Ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av.
This is the ultimate day of mourning as we commemorate the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.
There were many events that caused the destruction. Our Sages identify the sin of baseless hatred as the driver for all the internecine strife that fractured the Jewish people and destroyed the Second Temple.
This lack of love and care for one another is encapsulated in the tale narrated in the Talmud about Kamtza and Bar Kamtza.
A gentleman decided to host a party. He drew up a list of invitees and sent his servant with the invitations. The servant did not read the list carefully.
He was told to invite a man by the name of Kamtza.
Unfortunately, in a case of mistaken identity, he accidentally delivered the invitation to someone named Bar Kamtza.
Bar Kamtza was very surprised to receive the invitation because he and the host were sworn enemies.
He assumed that the host, whose name is not known to us, was ready to bury the hatchet and he was delighted.
Unfortunately, when Bar Kamtza arrived at the party the host was not at all as pleased. Instead he wanted to immediately eject Bar Kamtza from the premises.
When Bar Kamtza heard about the misunderstanding he recognized that a mistake had occurred but he begged to be allowed to remain. He felt he would be extremely embarrassed to be thrown out in such a public manner.
He offered to pay for the price of his meal, but the host wouldn’t hear of it.
Bar Kamtza then offered to pay for half of the tab for the entire shindig, but he was again rebuffed.
In desperation, Bar Kamtza offered to pay for the entire party so as not to be embarrassed, but the host was steadfast and had Bar Kamtza forcibly removed.
There were a number of Sages present and they remained silent throughout the exchange.
Bar Kamtza interpreted their silence as tacit approval of their host’s behavior.
Bar Kamtza was so upset, he went straight to the Roman authorities and slandered the Jews which fueled the anger of the Romans and they attacked the Jewish people and destroyed the holy Temple.

The devastation stemmed from the lack of love and compassion that is the calling card of our people.
The Temple is still not rebuilt.
Our Sages teach us that we cannot lay the blame at the feet of previous generations.
It is because we perpetuate the friction and fractiousness, that we remain bereft.
We need to do better.
Rabbi Meilech Biderman, Torah teacher in Israel, gives us a perspective.
A person might think, is it my loving kindness that is going to rebuild the Temple? I am only one in a million, how can my work alone, possibly rebuild.
The answer is, if it was destroyed by the actions of one, then it can be rebuilt by the actions of one!
The rebuilding of the desolation of Jerusalem rests on each of our shoulders.
Rabbi Biderman references the story told in the Talmud and focuses on the line which mentions that the Sages, the leaders, sat silent throughout the heated exchange and led Bar Kamtza to believe they agreed with the disgraceful behavior of his host which caused Bar Kamtza such shame.
Rabbi Binderman does not focus on the behavior of the Sages, we cannot analyze what they did, but instead he focuses us on the lesson we may learn.
Imagine, he says, if the Rabbis would have known the future.
If they would have realized this “little” drama was actually going to be the catalyst for centuries of tragedy and suffering, they would have done everything in their power to change the host’s mind.
They would be frantic!
They would beg him not to send the hapless accidental guest away because it would be the beginning of horrific things.
This is the lesson we must learn.
We have to realize how abominable it is to shame someone, and how tragic the results may be if we do not speak up in their defense.
We may not remain silent when the blood of another is”spilled”.
These are days when we must be extremely cautious.
We need to be very careful not to speak ill of another.
We need to choose words which are positive and loving and will build up those we communicate with.
And if we are put in a situation when someone is experiencing shame, we cannot afford to stand by silently, because the effect is devastating and will cause destruction.
That is the message of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza.
It doesn’t matter what your name is, I still see who you are, a person worthy of respect and kindness.
If you meet Julie Silverman somewhere, please give him my best regards.
Let him know that I am proud we share a name and if he gets to the party first, I will happily follow him in.
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!