I have a dear friend and mentor. I’ve known her since I got married. She was one of the many gifts my husband brought into our marriage. 
She is a Rebbitzen, the wife of an internationally acclaimed Torah scholar. She is down to earth and funny and very real. 
We all love her dearly.
She wears dark colored lipstick and has a penchant for kissing her friends and family. 
Those two create a special circumstance which we call a Tante rash. 
My children call this lady Tante, which means Aunt ( I don’t know about you but when I was growing up all my Mother’s friends were called Auntie or some version thereof. I did the same with some of my dear friends which for some reason inspires the derision of my children. But for this woman it’s unanimous! She is everyone’s Tante)!
If you go to a wedding with her she will always be in the fifth row, first seat, the one closest to the aisle. 
She wants to be an active participant in the joy that’s unfolding. 
When I was walking my last child down the aisle as I neared the Chuppa, knowing my own Mother was unable to attend, I stopped for a moment and spontaneously gave her a kiss, her love buoyed me in that moment. 
As I was standing under the Chuppa I noticed my daughters frantically trying to catch my attention. When they saw I was looking they mouthed the words “Tante rash”. 
She had imprinted her love on me once again. 
I was thinking about this because I saw a post from Hadas Lowenstern, a woman in Israel who was widowed after October 7 when her husband fell in battle. 
Hadas has opened her life to us. She has openly and honestly shared the grief and challenges she faces losing the love of her life and father of her 6 children. She is raw, very real
and also very funny. 
She shares how the army returned her husband’s belongings in 4 plastic bins. 
Everything he had taken with him, was returned. Even dirty laundry. In Israel dirty laundry that returns with soldiers on duty is always quite overwhelming and an opportunity for wives and mothers to play a significant role in the war effort. 
Hadas “said” to her husband, I can’t believe you are still sending me laundry from the next world. 
Hadas is a source of inspiration to the community of widows and to all the Jewish nation. 
She is the true definition of a Mother in Israel. 
I saw a post from Hadas where she took a picture of the imprint of her lips on a picture of her late husband. 
He is always alive in her heart, and she can poignantly leave the imprint of her love on his photo. 

Today was the Yahrzeit, the day of passing, of our Matriarch Rachel.
She passed away thousands of years ago and we still celebrate her life. 
Rachel did not have an easy life. 
She met her beloved Jacob and on her wedding day her father tricked Jacob and substituted her sister Leah as the bride. (The veils were very thick then, and that is why we do the veiling ceremony nowadays, called the Bedeken so the groom can make sure he has the right bride)!
What is it about Rachel that she remains so beloved to her children? 
Rachel had a challenging life. 
She had to share her husband with her sister and experience all the challenges such an untenable situation creates. 
She was barren for many years. 
She died in childbirth at the young age of 37. 
We might think we are so connected to her because she experienced any challenge which we may suffer. 
But it is much more profound. 
Jacob was wary that his father in law, a man known for his devious behavior, might try to trick him. So he gave Rachel signs, a code, which she would utter to him under the Chuppa. 
No signs - no marriage. 
When Rachel realized what her father was plotting she was thrown into turmoil. 
If her sister arrived at the marriage canopy and did not utter the “magic” formula she would be unmasked and the torture would be acute. So she made the decision to share the signs in order to spare her sister humiliation. 
That is the quintessential Jewish woman, putting her feelings aside in order to support another. 
That is why we call her Mamma Rochel, she is the place we go to find comfort and succor knowing that she will intercede on our behalf and place a kiss of love on our prayers. 
She is the matriarch buried on the side of the road who provides comfort to the Jewish people as they depart for exile and Gd promises her their ultimate return. Rachel is the  ultimate Mother, waiting for us to come back home. 
Rachel is our mother because when she was faced with trials she didn’t just withstand them. 
As Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi says she walked through them. She made the choice in difficult circumstances “to choose good when everything around is bad”
That is what Rachel has imprinted on our DNA, that’s the eternal imprint of a kiss she has seared into our collective consciousness. 
We cannot choose the circumstances of our lives, all we can control is how react. 
We can dance through the rain and blow kisses as we go. 
S.W.A.K
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!