My husband and I went to visit an old friend on Sunday.
When I got in his car I turned around and noticed an umbrella in the back seat.
I breathed out the word “Daddy”
It was my father’s old umbrella. A long sleek European model, not the sort which is sold in Target.
I hadn’t seen it in years. My Mom gave it to my husband and somehow catching sight of it triggered an intense feeling of loss.
These days many are struggling with loss and trying to move through the dance of loss and life.
It has been over two years since October 7. So many beautiful families were torn asunder as young fathers and newly married grooms fell in battle.
Recently we have been privy to hear the stories of many young widows who are remarrying and beginning a new chapter in their lives.
It is heartbreaking and breathtaking at the same time.
One bereaved father, Chagi Luber, accompanied his daughter in law to her new bridal canopy with an exquisite poem which paints the picture of his devastation over the loss of his son, accompanied by the exhilaration that the widow of his son will now have a husband and the orphan children of his son will have a father. He acknowledges his shattered heart which is mirrored in the shattering of the glass under the chuppa, while celebrating the rebirth of the nation.
Another widow, mother, bride, Naomi Chaimov, walked to her Chuppa holding the hands of her two young children. They in turn each held a white balloon bearing a picture of their father who fell in battle and the words “continuing in your path” as they accompanied her on the walk towards the next stage of her life.
It seems superhuman.
How are these mere mortals able to live with the pain and the sorrow while focusing on hope and a future?
This week’s Torah portion Bo, details the last three of the ten plagues. The Jewish people are poised for redemption, but Pharaoh remains incalcitrant, refusing to allow the Jews to leave. In the middle of the chaos and drama of the plagues there is a pause and the first commandment or Mitzva is given to the Jewish people.
It is the Mitzva of Rosh Chodesh, consecrating the new moon.
Rabbi Berezovsky, 20th century Chassidic teacher explains that Gd chose the consecration of the new moon as a message to the Jewish people. Just as the moon constantly renews itself so to do we the Jewish people continually revivify ourselves. This Mitzva gives us the power to overcome our challenges.
We don’t sanctify the moon when it is full and in all its glory. Rather, we do so when all that is revealed of the moon is just a sliver in the sky. The rest of the moon is shrouded in darkness, but we go forth on faith, knowing there is a whole other perspective to be revealed.

This first Mitzva is our mission.
The portion begins with Gd telling Moses to go once again to Pharoah to continue in the negotiations to free the Jewish people. But instead of using the word “lech” which means “go”, Gd summons Moshe with the word “Bo” which means come. In other words Gd is extending an invitation to Moses and indicates to him that Gd will accompany him in the mission. He will not be alone.
Gd is reminding us that as we go through the mission of life and experience the losses and the challenges, Gd is by our side throughout.
It all comes down to choice.
We can choose to see Gd’s presence in our lives.
We can choose to be people of hope even during dark times. The moon is not in its full glory but we know it’s just a matter of time till it will reveal itself.
That message of the new moon is clear - renewal for us is not a luxury, it’s a definition of our reality.
And sometimes we must struggle to realize our worth and not get lost in the challenge.
There is a parable of a grandfather who told his grandson of the two wolves who struggle within. One is an evil wolf and it represents envy, arrogance ego and self pity. The other wolf is good and its characteristics are joy love peace and serenity.
These two wolves struggle in each of us, the grandfather told his grandson.
The child asked the venerable elder “Which wolf will win?”
To which he received the reply “the one you feed”.
Our choice is let the light of the moon guide us through dark times.
Dr. Rachel Remen in her book Kitchen Table Wisdom tells of a patient whose charmed life was upended by cancer. His anger knew no bounds. In one session he drew a picture of his body and represented it as a cracked urn. The crack was drawn in black crayon with a ferocity which ripped the paper.
Over time this patient began advocacy work with other patients who lost limbs as he had. His empathy was ignited and he became a talented and effective counselor to those who suffered similar tragedies. Years later he concluded his work with Dr. Remen. At his last session, she retrieved the picture he had drawn in that dark period. The man looked at the picture and told Dr. Remen it was not finished. He took a yellow crayon and drew strong yellow lines emanating from the black crack in the middle of the urn which represented his shattered body to the edges of the paper.
He returned the picture to Dr. Remen saying
“This is where the light comes through”.
The challenge of a lifetime became a source of light which was transformational for himself and those he supported in their own journey to renewal.
We are preparing for a big storm in Atlanta in the coming days. It may be catastrophic or it may be a tempest in a teapot.
Either way it will no doubt offer opportunities for the light to come through.
Whrn I think of my Father zl I remember him as a person who always shared his gifts and opened an “umbrella” of caring to help shelter others. I can choose to use the twinge I feel to ignite that same sense of caring and responsibility in myself.
We can share our umbrella with those in need and choose to find and share light to those who may find themselves in darkness.
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!