Today is January 1, 2026!
It is customary for people to wish each other Happy New Year on this day.
“Jews going into the new year knowing we are already a better version of ourselves because we started our resolutions on September 22” @jewishlyliz
I loved this quote by Liz Rowland!!
It reminds us that we are actually already in process, and we have a head start on accomplishing the steps to do better.
New Year’s resolutions are a funny thing.
We take them seriously.
But they may not translate into real change.
Another great quote from Lori Palatnik “gyms see the highest surge in membership in January but they don’t build new lockers”
In other words, many good intentions may not end up being actualized.
So we are fortunate.
We can use this time to take our temperature and see how things are going with the resolutions we embraced around Rosh Hashana and Elul.
(As I’m writing this I actually just received this text:
“Start 2026 feeling better. Best resolution you'll actually keep…”
A sign from above, or the internet is monitoring my conversation…)
One of the resolutions which could be life altering is how we look at others.
Many of us have this “judgey” voice in our heads which dictates how we perceive others.
Our Sages give many pointers and suggestions on how to battle this scourge, so it’s obviously a common challenge for many.
Some times this predilection for seeing the negative on others can hit very close to home.
It may manifest in the way we perceive our own children.
Do they feel judged by us?

Do they feel they are defined by the negative impressions we have formed of them?
This week’s Torah portion is VaYechi and it tells us about the final blessings Jacob, our Patriarch, gave his children. Some of the blessings don’t sound like blessings. They sound like very harsh comments on the character of some of Jacob’s children.
Now we know that Jacob’s children were very holy and righteous. Yet, some of the comments Jacob makes seem to be very negative.
For example, Jacob talks about Shimon and Levi and says “cursed be their anger, for it was fierce”.
These do not sound like loving words of blessing.
Rabbi Chaim Ben Attar, the holy Ohr HaChaim, 18th century Kabbalist, explains, his harsh speech to them is their blessing”.
Rabbanit Yemima Mizrachi teaches us that the Ohr HaChaim is pointing out that Jacob did not say You are an angry person, rather he is pointing out the struggle that child has with anger and the need to channel that strength into something positive.
That is the job of a parent.
If a child does not understand their strengths and theie world is not a good environment to showcase those strengths, a parent plays a vital role in helping to bring those strengths to the fore.
Mrs. Leah Trenk, a renowned parenting expert and a personal mentor to me throughout my parenting journey, often says
“a parent serves as the mirror through which a child sees who they are and what their greatness is”.
In an article written by Mrs. Trenk’s nephew, Rabbi Y. Garfield, this idea is developed. Rabbi Garfield explains that children are not necessarily able to identify their own greatness. They need to get the perspective from their parents who will “articulate and celebrate” those unique talents.
As children spend most of their time in school, we tend to focus on their academic achievements. But parents need to get to know the entire symphony their child orchestrates. Many of their other talents or attributes such as sensitivity, loyalty, creativity, humor or social intuition, are the building blocks of successful adults.
Rabbi Garfield concludes by saying “children do not build self esteem from being told they are wonderful; they build it by discovering, through the eyes of someone they trust, that they genuinely have qualities worth valuing.
You are that someone”
This attitude of reflecting someone’s qualities is not limited to children.
Everyone in our orbit would benefit from a perspective.
This is the superpower of a very close friend of mine. The focus of her conversations is the ability and gifts of the person she is with. Even though I know that this will be the thrust of her conversation it still uplifts and empowers me.
What a special trait of positivity to infuse into the world!
This year VaYechi falls out right after Happy New Year.
We can uplift the coming year with the resolutions we made on our New Year, Rosh Hashana and truly make it a year of blessing, growth and happiness for ourselves and all those we love!!
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!!