As you know, last week I was in Jerusalem.
The world has become so small as we can traverse immense distances in such a short time.
Something we should not take for granted.
Now I’m driving in the mountains of the East coast and as I drive past the beautiful forests I keep wondering if I would be able to hide in those woods if Gd forbid the need would arrive. I’ve always had that mentality and JWC Atlanta’s recent trip to Poland and the current climate just reinforces that outlook.
But I digress, last week I was in the holy city of Jerusalem.
On Friday afternoon I went to the Kotel, the Western Wall, for some moments of prayer and introspection. As I was leaving the Kotel Plaza I saw a beautiful and poignant sight.
There was a group of people surrounding an older man. As I watched I saw the man, clearly the patriarch of the family, giving blessings to all the family members. It was a boisterous and happy group of adults, men and women, people of all ages and stages, each respectfully and joyfully approaching the older man for a blessing. He was conferring the blessing we give our children Friday nights and as they probably would not all be together Friday night, he was giving the blessing then.
As I watched the lively and loving procedure I felt a deep pang.
I missed my Father.
I missed that I don’t get a blessing from him every week anymore.
I stood to the side (hopefully they didn’t notice me watching them) and I felt a deep sadness.
I even considered approaching the man and asking him if I could have a blessing too because my Father is no longer with us.
Then I reconsidered when I thought of the horrified reactions my children would’ve expressed - Mom, you didn’t!
So I didn’t.

I walked back to my Mother’s home with a deeply heavy heart.
On my way, I called a Rabbi who is a mentor to me and my family. This Rabbi lives in Jerusalem and we speak a few times a year.
We talk about family and health and then he always ends with sharing a timely Torah thought.
Although it’s very meaningful, It’s pretty formulaic.
As our call started to wind down all of a sudden the Rabbi said, let me give you a blessing, and he proceeded to extend the blessing of the children that is given on Friday night, the blessing I had just watched an unknown man confer upon his family.
I stopped in my tracks.
In the quarter of a century that I have known this Rabbi he has never shared this blessing.
I stood there with the tears coursing down my cheeks and I whispered a thanks to my Father for sending me a blessing in record time.
We have just begun the month of Av.
Av means Father.
This is a complex month.
Av is the month when the worst tragedies happened to the Jewish people.
It started in Biblical times with the sin of the spies, when the trajectory of Jewish history was forever altered. Not only was entry into the Land of Israel delayed for forty years, the night the Jewish people cried over the fear of entering into the land of Israel became a time of crying for centuries.
That day was the 9th of Av which is also the date when both Temples were destroyed in Jerusalem as well as expulsions from England and Spain and the beginning of WW1 among other tragedies.
It’s the saddest day of the Jewish year.
It falls out this coming Saturday night and Sunday.
We mourn all the destruction and devastation and observe a fast day until nightfall.
It’s interesting that this devastating day falls in the month of Av, the month called Father.
It would seem that a month called Father would be a month that showcases a loving connection.
A Father has a loving relationship with a child but a loving parent holds his child accountable.
The fact there is accountability for bad behavior is a reflection of a real relationship.
Someone actually cares about my behavior and there are consequences if I neglect the relationship.
The Jewish people were given a gift of the Land of Israel.
Instead of embracing that promise they rejected the gift and the relationship.
But all is not lost.
The relationship is still unfolding.
Because on the 15th Av we have the most joyous day of the Jewish calendar. It’s the day when in Biblical times marriages were arranged and new homes were built. Y
Relationships between parents and children are complex, but if there is no engagement, there is no relationship at all.
In this time when we mourn the destruction of the House of Gd, there are many homes in Israel have been destroyed. The war has exacted a heavy toll as many heads of households have fallen in battle.
But there are lights on the horizon, sweet sounds of rebuilding in these dark times.
Hadas Loewensturn who I have quoted often, lost her husband Elisha in battle shortly after October 7. Hadas has been vocal about her loss and has served as a beacon of hope to others even when she is the one who should be supported.
And yesterday the news broke.
Hadas is engaged to someone who lost his wife.
So when it seems so dark and it looks like there is only destruction, the future of the Jewish people still has hope.
The relationship between Father and Child is still strong.
My Father obm was a complex person, a German Jew who had strong faith and commitment. He did not express his emotions readily, but I knew well what his expectations were of me.
Nonetheless, every Friday night I knew I would feel his hands gently on my head as he conferred a heartfelt blessing, his way of investing in our relationship.
Thank you Daddy.
Shabbat Shalom and so much love!